Dear Family Coach: This is probably going to sound weird. My children are 5 and 7. They're happy, healthy and well-adjusted, but I'm always afraid they're about to die. I check their breathing several times per night. Sometimes I even call the school office to make sure they're OK. I hate being this way, but I can't help it. What is there to do? — Scared Mom

Dear Scared: What you are describing is anxiety that you are directing at the health and safety of your children. Just like a hypochondriac fears every little ache is a terminal illness, you ascribe major risk to your children's everyday lives. Yes, it is true that some children die from SIDS or a car accident. However, the majority of children are kept safe using commonsense precautions.

To reduce your anxiety, start by assessing real risk from perceived risk. If you don't trust your own sense of danger, ask your partner or a friend whether they would worry under those circumstances. Some of your worry may be coming from sensationalized news of one-off or rare cases. Try to steer clear of this type of story on television or Facebook. Give yourself five minutes to worry when the kids leave for school. Let it all out then. After that time, divert your attention to more positive ways of thinking. To keep yourself calm, use a mantra, such as, "My kids are OK." You might try some mindfulness exercises or work with a therapist if you find that your thoughts are starting to impede your parenting and overall life.

Dear Family Coach: My son is 9 and plays flag football. One thing that's repeatedly stressed by the league is sportsmanship. In last week's game, a child on the other team would grab a flag of my son's teammate and, instead of handing it back, drop it on the ground. I saw none of his coaches saying anything to him, so I wanted to. My husband said that would be out of line. What do you think? — Flagged

Dear Flagged: That certainly doesn't sound like good sportsmanship. You knock a kid down in basketball, you put out a hand to help him up. A ball from an adjoining tennis court rolls into your court, you tap it back to the other players. And when you pull a flag in flag football, you hand the flag back to the opponent. These are basic rules of being a good sport. While it's true that the typical 9-year-old may or may not be well-versed in these rules, his coaches and parents certainly should be.

The question isn't if you should say something about this. It's clear to me that you should. The bigger question is to whom should you address your concerns? I'm not opposed to speaking directly to a child about his or her behavior. But it would be my last line of defense. I'd start the conversation with the head coach of the team. Before the next game, gently ask the coach if he has a minute to discuss an issue. Then explain what you noticed in the last contest. Tell the coach that above all else you would like your team to walk away from the season having learned how to be a good teammate and sport. Ask for his help in that endeavor.

If you see no change after the game, I don't see anything wrong with asking the child to please hand back the flags to his opponents after a pull. Don't be intimidating or rough. Politely make your request. That's all you can do.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.