Dear Family Coach: Our longtime babysitter, the teenage daughter of our neighbors across the street, has become exceedingly careless and sloppy. She cancels often, makes the house a mess, and doesn't listen to our requests. Sometimes she doesn't even answer our frustrated texts, and we hear from her mother instead. The other day, she was sick when she came to babysit and had already missed three days of school. In an effort to prevent any awkwardness, we have kept our regular schedule. But now I'm concerned about her competence. How can I ditch her without upsetting her family or creating awkwardness in the neighborhood? — Sick of the Sitter

Dear Sick: You have every reason to be sick of your babysitter. She isn't meeting your needs, and she sounds like a headache — if not completely inept.

When you continue to employ this girl even though she isn't doing a satisfactory job, you contribute to her false sense of acceptable work behavior. She is a neighbor, so you may make a few exceptions because you benefit from the convenience. But at some point, you are doing her — and you — more damage. It sounds like her mother regularly rescues her from taking responsibility for her own actions. Don't buy into that nonsense; hold her to the same standards you would anyone watching your child.

Invite the sitter over when your daughter is not home. In a very direct, but considerate manner, tell the babysitter that you will no longer be needing her services, and explain why. She will likely beg for another chance, but don't accept her plea. If you do, you will be right back in the same situation soon enough. When her mother inevitably asks why you won't be working with her daughter, tell her that your needs have changed. She can get the details from her daughter. Her mother might be standoffish for a bit, but it will pass. Or it won't. Either way, you will get past this situation.

Dear Family Coach: Our neighbor's son practically lives at our house. I mostly don't mind. He's a nice kid. I'm very into baseball and football, and he enjoys coming over to watch games with me. The problem is that my son, who is his same age, isn't into sports and feels left out. How can I nicely tell this boy that I can't spend as much time with him without making either child feel bad? — Buddy Dad

Dear Buddy: I wonder why this child is coming over to your house so often. Does he not have a father? Are his parents clueless about the difference between a field goal and a home run? Do you have a bigger TV? Or are you a special kind of guy that makes people feel welcome in your home? Whatever the reason, this little boy is clearly getting something wonderful out of being at your house that he can't get at his. Of course, you shouldn't spend so much time with this boy at the expense of your son. But maybe you can find time for both.

Try to think outside the box when it comes to engaging your son in sports. He may feel intimidated because he doesn't know the particulars. But maybe he loves numbers and would like to keep score of a game. He might be a great commentator. Or maybe he can just pull up a bin of Legos and sit with you and the boy as you watch the game.

If you really want to wean the boy from visiting so often, you should speak discretely with his family and let them know your parameters for their son coming over.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.