Dear Family Coach: This morning, my 9-year-old came into my room to ask whether she is fat. I was devastated because I'm exceptionally careful to project a positive female body image. I never discuss weight around her. I don't know where this is coming from, and I don't know how to handle it without creating a bigger issue. For the record, she isn't even remotely overweight. Help! — Disappointed Mom

Dear Disappointed: It seems no matter how conscientious parents are it's impossible to keep the word "fat" out of the vocabulary of young girls. What a shame. Unfortunately, women and their bodies are discussed ad nauseam in the media. While men are often judged by what they say and do, women are critiqued on how they look. Fat shaming is quite prevalent on social media as well. All of this adds up to an impossible position for parents.

Since your daughter brought it up, I'd explore where this is coming from. Try to keep a very calm demeanor, and don't overdo it. Insisting that she isn't fat and that it's ridiculous for her to even question it won't get to the heart of the issue. Instead, ask open-ended questions and listen carefully. How did this come up? Who mentioned it? Has she thought about her weight before? How does she feel she looks? What does fat mean to her? Her answers will let you know if this is a deep-seeded concern or just an innocent question.

Use her answers to open the conversation about how women are portrayed and examined in media, movies and television. Discuss health and wellness in lieu of weight and calories. Teach her to her think beyond labels. Furthermore, encourage her to strive for intrinsic validation of her body and health.

Your daughter will take most of her cues from you. You are her role model. So make sure that you are modeling a healthy diet and an exercise-filled life, and don't talk about your body negatively.

Dear Family Coach: My first-grader convinced other kids at recess to show each other their privates. I'm not sure whether this is normal curiosity or something concerning. How do I know where to draw the line, and how should I handle this? — Flasher's Dad

Dear Dad: I bet that was an uncomfortable call to receive from the principal. While this is a serious situation, it should be understood in the context of child development. Babies and very young children don't understand differences in sex. They assume we are all made with the same parts. But at some point, it becomes clear that girls and boys have different sex organs. This is exciting, confusing and no big deal all at the same time. Most of these show-and-tell situations are innocent displays of curiosity. On the other hand, kids who are modeling sexual acts or have an age-inappropriate knowledge about sex should be referred to a counselor for evaluation.

Just as children are learning about their bodies, they must also learn appropriate boundaries. Again, this isn't innate knowledge. It must be taught. Teach your son about privates, which are the parts of the body covered by underwear. Tell him no one can view or touch his privates (besides his parents and his doctor) and he doesn't have the right to view or touch others' either. Discuss the concept of consent in age-appropriate ways as well.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.