Dear Family Coach: My 8-year-old son loves dance. He has taken some classes at school. For his birthday this year, he requested ballet slippers, and now he wants to take ballet lessons. I fully support his decision. But I am incredibly worried he will get mercilessly teased if he goes through with it. Should I still let him get into ballet? — Worried

Dear Worried: I understand your concern, and it's well-intentioned. Ultimately, though, it's misguided. The gender norm is that ballet is for little girls in pink tutus. Boys play with trucks and get dirty. In reality, gender is much more fluid, with crossover for both sexes. Left to their own devices, many boys could be interested in what is typically thought of as for girls. Boys can like cooking and pink and dress-up. Likewise, girls can like trains and robots.

Don't be afraid of your son's interests. He, and many people around you, will take their cues from you. If you are comfortable with his nonconforming choices, he will feel supported and free to choose what he really enjoys. Then, when someone inevitably makes fun of him, he will feel confident to continue. On the other hand, if you hesitate or try to talk him out of it, he might get the impression that there is something wrong with wanting to try ballet. He could learn to suppress his true desires and wishes for the sake of pleasing others. That would be a shame.

Go on and set up the lessons. And I'd go one step further. Find a local professional ballet troupe that has male dancers, or rent a movie that displays men dancing. There are nonconforming role models to be found. Go find them for him.

Dear Family Coach: My child complains constantly that his teacher is treating him unfairly. He says she is picking on him. Should I get involved or suggest he work it out with his teacher? — Not So Sure

Dear Not So Sure: There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer to this question. It really all depends. Not all injustices are equal. Before intervening, ask for some solid examples of how his teacher treats him versus the other children. Do the examples sound like minor offenses? If so, simply empathize with him. Let him know that it must feel awful to be treated that way. I wouldn't rush to speak with the teacher in this case. The exception would be if the unfairness is causing him to want to avoid school or is beginning to affect his behavior.

If his examples of unfairness sound like the teacher is singling him out, or the teacher's behavior seems inappropriate, then you should get involved. But don't jump the gun and call the principal. Start by talking to the teacher with an open mind. Your son might not have provided you with the entire story. Hear the teacher out about her experience with your son. Try to dialogue about solving the issue. Don't demand or try to get her to admit to anything. Instead, work with her to solve the issue. Additionally, work with your son to help him advocate for himself.

After a few weeks, if the situation hasn't resolved or is causing your son significant distress, then ask for a meeting with a school counselor. The counselor could be asked to observe the classroom situation and your son to get a better understanding. The counselor can also act as a mediator, too. If all else fails, address the issue with the principal and potentially move your son to a new classroom.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.