Dear Family Coach: My wife and I are starting to have a problem with our boy and biting. He's 18-months-old now, and he often bites us while we are hugging or just being silly with him. We tell him "No," but he just giggles because he thinks it's funny. He doesn't do this to other kids (he just hugs them). I'm wondering about what kind of negative reinforcement we should give him to try to stop this behavior or ignore it and hope it goes away? —Bitten Up Daddy

Dear Bitten: Your son is laughing because it is funny to him. He has found a great way to evoke a reaction out of you, even if it is an unpleasant one. To get your son to cease biting you have to stop reinforcing the behavior. Any reinforcement, positive or negative, only encourages repetition. Most parents misunderstand negative reinforcement. A parent giving the child any attention, even seemingly negative attention, is still positive reinforcement (Negative reinforcement would be if you took something away to help encourage behavior). Either way, you are only telling your son that if he wants a reaction he should bite you.

To stop your little love bug from turning into Dracula on you, you need to withdraw all attention when he does it. If you are holding him and he takes a nibble simply put him down and move away for a moment. If he giggles, ignore it. Act busy cleaning up or talking with your wife. As soon as your son has moved on, you can re-engage him like nothing every happened. Don't discuss the biting and eventually your son will tire of the behavior because it is no longer rewarding.

Dear Family Coach: I have a child with never-ending worries. My daughter is 7, and she stresses about so many everyday aspects of life. She worries about the weekly spelling tests. She asks if the house might burn down if it is struck by lightening. She stays awake at night before any new transition like camp, new school, new instrument in band, etc. How can I help her to stop worrying and start living? —Sick of Worries Mom

Dear Worries: Anxiety for children is just as real as it is for adults. Sometimes parents get frustrated by a child's consistent anxiety, and they think, "What do you have to be worried about?" But this stance is a mistake because it only shows anxious children you don't understand their worry, and it makes them worry more. Extreme worry impacts the ability to function in the world. If it isn't addressed properly it can lead to dropping out of activities, increased anxiety, and unhealthy stress relieving activities.

Don't try to stop your daughter from worrying. That may be unrealistic. Instead, allow her to express her fears for no more than 15 minutes (but never before bedtime). This allows children to process some of the worry without it taking over an entire day. Don't problem solve either. Encourage her to express her concern and help her think of the worst-case scenarios. Once she imagines the worst she might be able to see that even if the worst happens she will survive. Then at the end of the 15 minutes tell her that's enough for now. Explain to your daughter that you can't make her worries go away. Instead, stand by her as she faces some of them. Each time she successfully gets through she gains strength and the knowledge that she can be worried but still try something. If her worries continue and begin to get in the way of her living the life a typical child her age find a therapist experienced in childhood anxiety to help her learn tools to further many her fears.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Phalinn Ooi