Dear Family Coach: I'm about to have my second son. I tried to breast-feed the first one but gave up after six weeks of hell. I don't even want to try this time, but my husband and friends are pressuring me. If I hear one more time how breast is best, I'm going to scream. Is it OK to just go right to formula? — Bottle Best Mom

Dear Mom: Extensive research does show that breastmilk offers distinct advantages for moms and babies. Breast-fed babies have a lower risk of asthma, obesity, respiratory infections, SIDS and Type 2 diabetes. Formula costs money and isn't as easily digested as breastmilk. Plus, preparing and cleaning those bottles is a pain.

However, breast-feeding isn't the only way to feed a baby.

Adoptive parents and single fathers bottle-feed out of necessity. Medical issues and insufficient production of breastmilk can also require parents to bottle-feed exclusively. While breast might be best for many people, it doesn't mean it is the right choice for you and your family.

Your experience with your first son may not be your experience with the second. It's possible that you will have an easier and more fulfilling time breast-feeding this time around. I'd recommend going in with an open mind. Give it a try. If it isn't for you, then there is no shame in formula. While your husband should have input, he isn't the one who will need to feed every two to three hours around the clock. He won't have to deal with mastitis or overproduction. And he won't be the one pumping in a bathroom stall when he returns to work. Do what makes the most sense for you and your family. It's no one else's business.

Dear Family Coach: Whenever I'm visiting with my extended family, my parents and my sister spend the entire time complaining about my daughter's behavior. They often contradict me in front of my kids and make me feel incompetent. After the visits, I head home demoralized. What can I do before the next visit to get them to lay off a bit? — Deflated Mom

Dear Mom: Of course you are deflated and demoralized. No parent wants to be told she is doing a poor job raising her children. Your family probably has the best of intentions. And I doubt that they are aware of the effect their words and actions have on you. But the end result of their meddling isn't better-behaved children. It's a more self-conscious mom.

Set up a meeting with your parents and sister away from the children. Ask them to hear you out without interrupting. Then, tell them that you appreciate their concern and you value their opinions but their methods aren't helpful. Tell them that you feel incompetent when they contradict you in front of the kids, and that it unfairly undermines your parental authority. Let them know you are happy to hear their thoughts and concerns, but there is a time and place (that is, unless you don't want to hear their thoughts and concerns. In that case, be blunt and say, "Sorry, but that's not helpful."). Make it clear as well that you may not necessarily agree with their thoughts, and they will have to respect your choices. You are the parent. You get to make the final decisions about how they are being raised.

Explain to your family that the relentless correcting of your parenting is making it unpleasant for you to be around them. If they value their time with you and the children, they will need to make some changes. However, you can't necessarily guarantee that they will. Have a back-up plan. In response to unwanted advice, simply nod and smile and say, "Thanks for your opinion." Then, go ahead and parent the way you see fit.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.