Dear Family Coach: My son is an amazing soccer player. He has been playing for years and is one of the best on the team. But he desperately wants to quit. How do I persuade my kid to play a sport at which he excels even though he says he hates it? —Sporty Mom

Dear Sporty: You don't. Just because someone excels doesn't mean they need to devote extensive time to pursue that activity. I love math and I'm good at it but I don't want to be an accountant.

So ... let him quit. Yes, it is possible that he will come to regret it. He might lose his edge and never be able to get back. But there are lessons here that are significantly more valuable than corner kicks and headers: First, should he leave the sport then want to return, he'll understand that it takes commitment and practice to do anything at a high level. If he wants it badly enough he will work even harder getting back, and he won't take playing for granted again. Second, if he never looks back at soccer and finds his calling in, say, theater, or distance running, he'll see the value of following your heart.

Playing soccer every day of every year took him away from other pursuits. There was an opportunity cost of being on the team. Being free from practices and team meetings might open up new worlds. Stuff he didn't have time for previously might be his passion. Give him space to figure it out.

Dear Family Coach: When my boys are finished with their homework they only want to watch television or play video games. I would like them to expand their horizons. What else can my kids do? — Stumped

Dear Stumped: Play ping Pong, bocce ball, Legos, make a robot, bake brownies, play Monopoly until someone actually wins. Plan a good deed for a neighbor and then do it. Rake the leaves into a huge pile and leap into it. Round up the neighbors for a giant game of two-hand touch football. Paint a mural on the basement wall. Take apart an old alarm clock or computer and create something new from the parts. Write a play and make a movie. Go to the local library for endless supplies of interesting material of projects for kids.

I could go on forever. But what you have to do is let them get bored. Right after boredom comes the light bulb. It is so tempting as a parent to suggest an endless list of activities for kids to do, but the kids might nix every one. Instead, provide the space and materials for kids to discover what they want to do. Allow video games and television. But set limits and stand back. Busy yourself with something else and watch the magic happen. After a few minutes, they will start nagging you for videos or for something to do. Just keep saying find something to do. Nothing more.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Bil Kleb