Dear Family Coach: My 8-year-old daughter wants to go to sleep-away camp. My 10-year-old son has no interest. However, he doesn't want us to let our daughter go because he says it will be embarrassing for him if she goes and he doesn't. We are considering keeping her home this summer to appease him. Is this the correct decision? — Parents With a Balancing Act

Dear Parents: Nope. Holding your daughter back for the sake of your son's feelings is not the right call. It is perfectly understandable that your son doesn't want to deal with the potential questions from family members and friends as to why he isn't at camp. Sure, it may be embarrassing for him. But denying his sister an opportunity isn't the answer. Keeping her home doesn't address the underlying issue. It simply mollifies the symptom.

Tell your son frankly that you will not keep his sister home. Knowing this information, he will have a choice. He can decide the embarrassment would be too great and maybe try camp. Alternatively, he can do something else. Work diligently to set him up with interesting summer plans. Maybe he would be less self-conscious if he also had exciting activities to report. If he stays home, help him sort through what would be embarrassing about that fact. Try to role-play what he could say to people about his choice.

Remember, you are raising two very different children. You can't sacrifice one for the other. Instead, find ways to support and foster growth in each.

Dear Family Coach: My husband and I are considering switching my son's school for next year. The new elementary school has more opportunity for him and would probably be a better fit. However, our son does not want to make the change. He is adamant. We aren't sure whether we should push him. When should parents force a decision against a child's will? — Feeling Pressure

Dear Pressure: Doing what's best for a child even when the child isn't thrilled is called parenting. I'm sure that if asked, most kids would rather not get vaccinations at their annual checkup. When sick, they would rather not take medicine. My daughter would definitely rather not take a family vacation to national parks. And left up to their own devices, most kids would avoid taking baths, cleaning their rooms, brushing their teeth, walking the dog or doing other chores. Yet we still make them do all these things.

Parenting is filled with not-so-fun decisions. The issue isn't if you should force him to change schools. It is more about how you can help him manage the decision if you decide it is the best place for him. I'd highly recommend getting your son acquainted with the school before the end of this year. Ask whether he could spend several days visiting the school. Maybe there are after-school programs he can join now to meet some kids. You could also ask the school for the names of a few ambassadors who can help pave the way for your son's smooth transition. Additionally, help him stay in touch with his current friends as much as possible until he makes some new buddies.

Whatever you do, don't allow your son the power of the final decision. Children, especially younger ones, don't have the capacity to make informed decisions. Your son can't weigh the options fully because he can only imagine his immediate discomfort. As the parent, if you have deemed this change necessary, you must stick to what you believe is best even when it's hard. Like I said, that's parenting.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.