We recently met Dylan, who was 44 years old before he realized that it was his own lying and cheating that had wrecked all of his relationships. It wasn't until Demi, the love of his life, broke up with him that he was motivated to look into himself.

He discovered he was a sex addict and began taking anti-depressants. He was ready to deal with his past.

"Little did I know that my past would knock the legs out from under every relationship I had until I had the courage to deal with it. An addict doesn't age mentally until he deals with the root cause of his problem. So at 44, I was making decisions with a 15-year-old mind."

Dylan discovered that his root problem was his mother. He had never dealt with her abuse and had just ignored it, the way his father did. "My mother taught me not to trust women and my father's behavior taught me to lie and cheat."

Dylan decided that the cycle of dysfunction would end with him. He wouldn't pass the legacy on to his children. The first thing he did was stopped lying. "I adopted the motto 'always the truth no matter what the cost' and even had it tattooed on my left arm so I would never again forget. I tell my son every day that we treat women with respect. We own up to our mistakes, make them right and learn from them."

As part of his therapy, Dylan wrote a letter to his mother. It took him one minute to write the first sentence and four weeks to write the next 18 pages. "It was the hardest and scariest time of my life. I recovered memories that had long been buried. But in the end, an amazing thing happened — I told my father my story and, instead of doing what he always does, covering for my mother, he listened. After I was done, he told me he was sorry. He validated my whole life. After this, the weight of the whole world was lifted from my shoulders. This was the start of forgiveness.

"I encourage anyone who has not dealt with his past to quit stalling and do it now. Own your life, all the good and all the bad. Take back control. Be absolutely fearless. Forgive totally and completely. Be brutally honest and committed to work to the end. Learn everything you can about your situation, reach out to your friends and don't be afraid of what they might say. Don't make excuses. Make the changes now, because, again, your very life may depend on it.

"I would like to tell you that there's a happy ending to my story — well, there is and there isn't. I'm still alone, but I've been clean from my acting out for six months and slowly but surely getting back on track. I no longer look at life as what will go wrong next, I look at it as maybe today will be OK. I'm no longer embarrassed by my past and, with a little luck and a lot of love, today will be OK if I just take it one day at a time."

It's ironic: Dylan started his inner journey to straighten out his love life and instead, he straightened out his life.

Have you been able to forgive those who hurt you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to [email protected]. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.