Harper says she was in a dead marriage. She and her husband had nothing in common. It was basically over.

That's when she met Matt, who was a couple of years younger. Harper ran her own business, so stealing time to be with him was never a problem. She juggled a triple life — wife and mother, working woman and girlfriend. But she had a goal in mind: "Matt always told me that once I divorced my husband we would marry. I wanted to wait because my kids were young and he agreed."

And then Harper was ready. Her daughter was 15, and her son was 20 and in college. She thought they could handle the divorce. But that's when her husband was arrested and incarcerated.

She described: "My children took it very badly. I had to sleep in a chair outside my son's bedroom because he started sleepwalking. However, as time went by, everything calmed down."

Harper had closed down her business several years earlier, and she and Matt decided he would move into her extra bedroom and support her and her children. Harper said: "They never knew the true nature of our relationship. Nothing positive could come from them knowing I was involved with another man while married to their father."

During this time, Matt worked nights in a club and made a great deal of money. He gave Harper over $500 a day.

And then one morning, Matt said he was leaving: "I was in shock. We had supported each other through so much, including me becoming disabled due to a back injury. I could never have imagined my life without him."

Matt told Harper he was leaving because he was "burnt out" and "needed time alone." She doesn't believe him: "I think he left me for someone else. I only wish he'd been man enough to tell me. The very least I deserved was honesty."

That was 10 months ago. Harper says that the loneliness is unbearable. But loneliness is the least of her problems. She was totally dependent on Matt financially. When he left, he cut her off almost completely, although he still pays her son's tuition and gives her several hundred dollars a month — at least for now. He doesn't want to see Harper, so he gives the money to her daughter.

Harper says that she and her children were homeless for six weeks and lived in her car. She spent every one of those days at the Department of Social Services, begging for money for shelter.

Harper says, "Matt knew how much we were suffering."

Today, she and her kids have an apartment. They live on food stamps and whatever Matt doles out.

"Despite all the hurt Matt inflicted on us, I still miss the good times," Harper says.

Still, there are things she can't forgive him for: "It's one thing to hurt me, but my children respected him and liked him. They did nothing to deserve being homeless.

"Being homeless makes you feel worthless, useless and hopeless. I prayed so hard for help. The more unbearable things became, the harder I prayed. I didn't think I would survive. But through my faith in Jesus, I did."

Have you allowed yourself to become totally dependent on another?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to [email protected]. And check out my ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."