Are affairs between bosses and their employees ever truly consensual? Or does the fact that one has power over the other change the dynamics?

And who has the power? The boss who coerces the employee into having sex with promises of better assignments, promotions and raises, or threats of dismissal and demotion? Or the employee who uses sex to get ahead and stay ahead and has the threat of a sexual harassment suit?

And what about feminism? Aren't women free to have sex with whomever they want, including their boss?

And where do adults meet other adults, if not at work?

And doesn't a workplace affair make the 9 to 5 grind more fun?

ELLA: I have friends who started out as boss and employee. She was the boss; he was the employee. Once they started dating, he transferred to a different department so she was no longer his boss. It all worked out. They've been married for 18 years.

AIDAN: Fooling around at work is so common I just roll my eyes at it now. I know one woman who "earned" at least two promotions by having sex with her boss in his office.

LARRY: As an honorable male, I believe work is never a place for anything other than the highest ethical and moral behavior.

GRETCHEN: I don't know where this idea came from that unmarried adults are supposed to be celibate. I thought we left that behind in the '60s. I say go for it — wherever, whenever, as long as it's two consenting adults.

EVAN: In the academic world I'm in, the presumption is that a relationship between a faculty member and a student (whether undergraduate, graduate or professional) enrolled in his or her course is never consensual and can be the basis for disciplinary action against that faculty member, even as extreme as dismissal.

AVERY: Having been both a worker bee and middle manager, I can tell you that a large percentage of office affairs stem from the female side, whether the woman is the boss or the subordinate.

As long as the parties involved are single and the sex is consensual, it's a nonissue. Be warned, however, that when the affair ends, which it usually does, it can get pretty uncomfortable.

MARISA: Never have I had an affair with a boss or co-worker. But there have surprisingly been many bosses who have tried, at first to my shock, and then to my disgust. The last was old, really ugly and stupid. If any of them would have insisted, I would have left.

What do you think about relationships between bosses and employees? Have you had one? How did it work out? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."