Born-again teenagers, or BATS — those men and women who enter the dating scene after being married for decades — are in for a shock.

In high school, you can pretty much assume no one is married. BATs can't assume anything. That man you meet online might say he's divorced, but it would come as news to his wife; that woman who used to say she didn't kiss on a first date may have changed her standards. Now she doesn't do the nasty till date two, etc., etc.

Here's LANE with his take on born-again dating ...

"In high school, everyone had way too much background information on everyone else," says Lane. "Almost any girl I could ask out already knew all my friends and all the embarrassing things I'd done. They'd met my parents and siblings at one point or another either through sports or church or just around the neighborhood.

"Yes, small-town life can be confining. Yes, it can be absolutely suffocating if you're not a good match for the small town you're born in. But for the people who fit in, it can be extremely safe, comfortable and intimate.

"Asking a girl out used to be something I did only after I knew her pretty well. Each of us knew everything about the other's history, but nothing about the other's romantic desires. Even a girl who really wanted to go out with me would not let on until I asked her out.

"Fast forward 20 years and suddenly the dating scene is completely inverted. Now, the women I meet online know everything about my romantic desires—I'm single, I'm looking for a date, I hope it could be her—but nothing about my history.

"In high school, everybody had seen everybody else go through happy times and sad times. You knew how they reacted to stress, surprise, success, and failure. You knew what TV shows they liked and what they laughed at. You had a feel for what made their friendships work. It takes me six or twelve dates to figure this stuff out nowadays. That's a kind of a lot to invest before you have a clear idea whether you match well.

"Being involved in volunteer organizations, political causes, and social groups is a good way to stay busy and have interesting things to say when a date asks you about your week. Because workplace romance often gets more complicated than I would like, activities like these are just about the only way to see how someone's behavior and sense of humor hold up under a variety of circumstances.

"Lots of people seem like good matches when times are good. The mates who stick together are the ones who can deal with the curve balls life inevitably throws at you.

"I guess I have to get to know lots of people fairly well before I find one I really want to date. Staying busy helps keep me from sliding into a relationship I'm not enthusiastic about and forces me to make time for the people I really want to see. This way, nobody feels like I've wasted her time or led her on."

Are you dating people you wouldn't have sneezed at in high school? What's happened? Send your thoughts, along with your questions, rants and problems to [email protected]. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not.