Reading awkward, verbose prose can feel like trying to navigate a dense thicket of branches and bushes. You become so snagged, snared and entangled by overgrown verbiage that you can't find the meaning of the sentence.

Below are eight wordy sentences. Grab your machete, and start chopping. Hack away passive verbs; slash redundant words; cut down long strings of prepositional phrases to create sentences that are clear, crisp and concise.

Sentences:

1. It has been debated by scholars as to whether legislators owe primary loyalty to their consciences or their constituents.

2. A plea of temporary insanity is not constitutionally based and will therefore be rejected by the court.

3. The governor's mobilization of the National Guard proved to be in conflict with a state law requiring the leaders of the state legislature to be consulted by the governor about such actions.

4. The state statute contains a very general grant of authority allowing for the governor to have a broad range of powers and options in a vast number of potential circumstances.

5. Maintaining public order is an important priority in cases in which a government official deals with situations of civil unrest or violence.

6. The question being asked by the justices was whether or not the federal takeover of the mines was constitutionally based.

7. The defendant's argument of needing to provide for his family was not accepted by the judge due to the irrelevance of this testimony.

8. The government is structured by the Constitution into allocating its power among three equal branches, intending to create it so no one branch has absolute power.

Possible revisions:

1. Scholars have debated whether legislators should heed their consciences or their constituents.

2. The court will reject a plea of temporary insanity as unconstitutional.

3. The governor broke a state law when he mobilized the National Guard without consulting state legislative leaders.

4. The state statute grants the governor a broad range of authority in many circumstances.

5. Maintaining public order dictates quick action by government officials responding to civil unrest or violence.

6. The justices were asking whether the federal takeover of the mines was constitutional.

7. The judge tossed out as irrelevant the defendant's testimony that he needed to provide for his family.

8. The Constitution divides power equally among three branches so that no single branch has absolute power.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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