Donald, how can you win the remaining two years of your term? You are the self-proclaimed master of the art of the deal. OK, then, let's deal.

Throughout this year's summer and fall campaign, you made it clear that architectural changes in the nation's capital counted more to you than the makeup of the 120th Congress. At your first public appearance the day after the midterms, you expounded on the White House ballroom you're having built. You carried on about its limestone columns, marble floors and chandeliers for nearly 20 minutes rather than focusing on the election results.

Speaking of your presidency, you've said, "I have a construction job." Five days into your second term at a meeting about the wildfires imperiling Los Angeles, you said: "I'm a builder. I build."

OK, let's do deals that give you what you care about most: building.

And whom to deal with? Republicans will hardly matter in the new Congress that takes office on Jan. 3. The Dems will control both chambers with their largest House majority since 2008.

Let's deal the cards for a high-stakes game of five-card stud.

Card 1: The ballroom. There's nothing you seem prouder of than the humongous ballroom that you're building to dwarf the White House. But you know that legacy is not going to be protected by Sen. Jon Ossoff or, horrors, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, or whatever Democrat might be elected to replace you in two years. In return for a vote of the new Congress to keep the ballroom, you can agree to reverse the cuts in the Affordable Care Act and Medicaid and raise taxes on those with an income of over $1 million a year to pay for it. The Dems will have to swallow hard to accept your architectural genius, but they'll have to take the deal. They'd look pretty bad saying their vindictive destructiveness is more important than preventing the roughly 50,000 premature deaths annually that Yale and University of Pennsylvania researchers warned could result from the proposed healthcare cuts and expiration of ACA subsidies.

Card 2: The Rose Garden. You replaced what the Kennedy Library called "an elegant yet informal space for the private use of presidents and their families" with a limestone-paved patio done Mar-a-Lago style. You know that any Democrat will change it back — unless you can have your changes enshrined in law. And I'll bet you could convince them to do so in return for supporting a statute that restores cuts to federal funding for university research in science and medicine. The Democrats are just woke enough to care about saving lives and the advancement of knowledge to accept your deal.

Card 3: The Kennedy Center. You want to remake the Kennedy Center in your own image. Fine. But measles cases are spreading throughout the country, and we're ill-prepared for whatever pandemic hits us next. And you, you're the hero of Operation Warp Speed that helped produce COVID-19 vaccines credited with helping to save millions of lives. Promise to replace Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and his passel of quacks with real doctors. What to ask for in return? This will be hard for Dems to swallow, but how about adding "renovated by Donald Trump" to the sign outside the Kennedy Center. I'll bet you could get Bobby Jr.'s myriad cousins to agree.

Card 4: The Lincoln Bedroom. You were pretty darn proud of the black-and-white marble and gold faucet renovation of the bathroom in the Lincoln Bedroom suite. In return for a guarantee of enshrining your good taste into law, how about reversing the $187 billion in SNAP cuts over the next decade? A Center for American Progress analysis estimates that eliminating the expanded work requirement could prevent nearly 70,000 premature deaths by 2040. You'd be a lifesaver and a builder.

Card 5: The United States Military Triumphal Arch. Remember, you are the master of the deal. Pledge to campaign for a 28th Amendment to the Constitution that would abolish the Electoral College and political gerrymandering and bring true democracy to America. In return, the Dems give you a bill to build the arch.

Do not forget to remind Democrats of Shakespeare's words from "Romeo and Juliet": "What's in a name? That which we call a rose/ By any other word would smell as sweet." Those Dems should care more about what they're getting than what it's called.

And why should you care what the Republicans in Congress say about your dealing with the Dems? As you remarked when discussing Sen. John McCain, "I don't like losers."

OK, Donald. Now shut up and deal.

A renaissance man, Keith Raffel has served as the senior counsel to the Senate Intelligence Committee and started a successful internet software company. His sixth novel, "The Duplicate," will be published in March 2027. He currently spends the academic year as a resident scholar at Harvard. You can learn more about him at keithraffel.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators website at creators.com.

DIST. BY CREATORS

Photo credit: David Everett Strickler at Unsplash