A young entrepreneur is meeting with the executive team of his top corporate client in the office of their CEO. This is a huge deal for him. He's got his best suit on. A brand-new shirt — a little too tight around the collar. His tie's kind of bobbing around on his Adam's apple.

The client's team is considerably older than he is and a bit straightlaced. And his rapport-building attempts are going nowhere, but he knows that if you want to get people talking, just comment on something they really value. ("Oh, Mrs. Jones, what a lovely picture of dogs playing poker. And in black velvet, too. It's so stunning.")

On the CEO's giant desk, there's a large, sterling silver picture frame highlighting a professionally done photo of an attractive young woman. Perhaps not Miss America, but definitely attractive. And the young entrepreneur is desperate. So he says to the older gentleman. "Wow, she is absolutely gorgeous." The CEO's face lights up. It's like even his mustache is smiling. The entrepreneur has struck gold. So then he asks, "Is that your granddaughter?"

Stunned silence fills the room. The old man glares at him and says, of course, "That, sir, is my wife."

Now it's the young entrepreneur's turn to be stunned. He looks around the room. Nobody will meet his eye. Close to panic, sweat dripping down the back of his legs, all he can think of is all that business, far too big a percentage of his business, flying straight to his competition.

He does notice that on one wall, there's a shelf, and on that shelf is a ceremonial sword. He thinks for just a moment, then he rushes over and snatches that sword off the shelf. He dashes back to the CEO's desk. He drops to his knees in front of the desk. He lifts the sword high over his head. He shrieks—-eeeieeeah — and plunges the sword ... into the space between his body and one arm. He falls forward onto his face, thrashes around a bit, gives a death rattle—-ahahahaha — and lies still.

Yet another stunned silence fills the room. Then the place erupts into laughter. The entrepreneur looks up. He sees the CEO is laughing too. He's not laughing as hard as the others, but at least he's laughing. The tension is broken, the account is saved.

One of my cancer doctors — cancer brings out doctors like sugar brings out ants — has an ornamental sign in his waiting room. It's in Latin. I was an altar boy when the Mass was in Latin. And I actually had two years of Latin in middle school, which, in my opinion, constitutes child abuse. In spite of that, I have absolutely no idea what that sign means. For all I know, it could be Latin for "abandon hope all ye who enter here" or "No spitting and keep your feet off the furniture." So I've given it my own translation. To me, every time I enter that office and see it, it's a simple yet profound piece of Roman wisdom that translates,

"He or she who has the most fun, wins!"

Enjoy.

Barry Maher's dark humor supernatural thriller, "The Great Dick: And the Dysfunctional Demon," has just been released. Contact him and/or sign up for his newsletter at www.barrymaher.com.

To find out more about Barry Maher and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Nastuh Abootalebi at Unsplash