Dear John: I just read an article in which a relationship expert was quoted as saying: "Give men or women the chance to stray (without the consequences of being caught), and they probably will." My husband must travel frequently for business, so needless to say, I was a bit concerned upon reading this. I had always assumed we were immune to this kind of thing because we are so happy, and spend just about all of our free time together. Could this statement be true? Does a man's sex drive override his conscience? — Too Trusting? In Seattle, Wash.

Dear Too Trusting: If your husband has never given you any reason to doubt him, why start now? Because of some broad, sweeping, declaratory statement in an article?

If that logic made sense, then consider this: If one partner goes out of town frequently, doesn't that make it just as easy for the stay-at-home partner to have an affair?

Physical attraction for another person is a normal human response. The pursuit of passion has a different motivation: the desire to fill a void for passion. If this does not describe your relationship, then don't jump to unwarranted conclusions. Life is too short for insecurity-based fears, so extend to your husband the love and trust that he, in turn, extends to you.

Dear John: I am a 36-year-old male. I connected with "Diane" online. She is 31, and seemed to have her act together. We met, hit it off, and ended up going out on a three-day date. It's been six months now, and we've had our growing pains with trust and communication. Unfortunately, our arguments have grown more frequent over time. She does little things that annoy me, like leaving food, or clothes, all over the place. Also, she likes to joke, but when I joke back, it seems like she doesn't like it. Today, I was to meet her at her house, then we were going out to grab some dinner. Unfortunately, she was late getting home. I would have appreciated a courtesy phone call from her so that way I wouldn't have had to rush, but apparently that was too much to ask for. We are both stubborn and sensitive, and it's obvious that we both have some pent-up anger over these annoyances. We have tried talking things out, but nothing seems to work. Can you give me some direction here? — It's the Little Things, in Bethesda, Md.

Dear Little Things: Dating has five stages: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy and engagement. Despite the fact that you leaped into stages three and four, it sounds as if you are both truly stuck in stage two: uncertainty. If you both want this to work out, do yourselves a favor and put on the brakes. That means focusing on the things that attracted you to each other in the first place. These traits will help you see beyond the petty little annoyances to the potential of your futures together. Then you can be honest with each other as to what bothers you, and set ground rules. Love may begin with promise, but successful long-term relationships are built on compromise.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: www.marsvenusliving.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.