Dear John: This year, I decided what to buy my husband's parents for their birthdays, bought the items, wrapped them and boxed them up. I then asked my husband to mail the package. The package sat around for two weeks. I reminded him once during that time, but then in an extremely angry frame of mind, I finally mailed it myself. Meanwhile, he had time to get a haircut and his car tuned, but not to mail presents to his parents!

This is not an unusual occurrence. What should I do in the future? Let him take care of presents for his parents? And if they don't receive any, don't worry about it? Or should I just resign myself to doing it all? — Fed Up, in Fayetteville, N.C.

Dear Fed Up: In truth, the choice is yours. Should you choose the first route and delegate this task to him, you must first release yourself of the obligation and recognize that the consequences of his actions are his alone. After all, he is a fully grown adult. Should you choose the second route, do so because you take joy in giving to your in-laws, and don't be shy at letting them know that the gifts are from YOU. If he wishes to share their thanks, let him know that next time, he can also share the responsibility of giving and that you welcome his participation.

Dear John: Are there ways to know if a spring/ summer relationship will last as a marriage? He is 30, and I am 43. We started as an affair, but now it has become something more. Should I limit myself to dating a younger man that I do love, or do I first try and see if there may be someone more compatible with my age? — Uncertain, in Louisville, Ky.

Dear Uncertain: When you write about finding someone "more compatible," it makes me think that your concerns about this relationship go beyond the issue of age. If you are thinking that there are other men, closer to your age and/or your interests, that you should meet, then by all means pursue that. If you're not ready for a committed relationship, don't move ahead in haste.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.