Dear John: Four months ago, my husband of seven years dumped me after I'd supported him through law school! We met in college, fell in love and decided that his career would be the one we'd both work toward, which meant I would sacrifice my own education until he completed law school.

Through many of those difficult years, I held down two jobs: waiting tables or working as a retail salesperson, just to make ends meet. But I wasn't willing to put everything on hold: I thank the Lord that I have two beautiful children, ages 5 and 3. Now, it's payback time, and where is he? In the arms of another woman — a secretary at his law firm! It makes me sick that I gave up so many years for this louse. Please warn others not to do the same. — Angry Ex, in Dayton, Ohio

Dear Ex: As you might imagine, I've heard this story many times: The wife has sacrificed her career or education while her husband earns a law or medical degree, only to have him leave within a few years of reaching his goal.

Why does this happen? In some cases, the man feels as if his wife has not grown along with him. Or his wife is a reminder of what he used to be, as opposed to who he thinks he is now. Another reason is that after having been supported by her all those years, he is ready to play the supporter — to someone he feels will appreciate it, without pointing out that it is tit-for-tat. In other words, he doesn't want to hear, "You owe me."

Your contribution helped to create his success —but his success is still his, alone. The reality is, we are not always the same person at 30 that we are at 22.

I agree with you. A woman should never give up her goals for a man. Your life and career should be considered as important as his. In your case, both of you should have striven to meet your personal goals. Now, it's time for you to start living the rest of your life.

Dear John: How long should a woman wait around for a non-committal man to commit? I think he is still waiting for Mrs. Right. What do you think? — Playing the Waiting Game, in Atlanta, Ga.

Dear Waiting Game: When a man commits to marriage with a woman, several variables come into play. One is timing. Still another is the realization that he might have indeed found the right person for him, and he will never find anyone as special as her. If he doesn't commit, he knows he runs the risk of losing her.

Still, an ultimatum to "commit or else" may backfire. Instead, let him know how much you love him, and that you want to get married some day, but that you are having doubts as to whether he is the right one. Reinforce the fact that you would never do or say anything that would force him to commit. By saying this, you create an opportunity for him to reflect on the thought of losing you and the realization that the time for him to commit is now!

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Visit his website, http://www.marsvenus.com, for advice on dating, marriage, parenting, romance and workplace issues. Or e-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.