After years as an officeholder, strategist, pollster, you name it, I have truly come to despise politicians. This year's GOP nomination process has sealed the deal.
Is there an honest broker among the bunch? I mean, really, we have heard the bull from the Obama administration, telling us that the economy is coming up roses. We hear that from some media, as well. My only answer for them is to take their New York and Washington, D.C., based silk pants off and walk with the rest of us.
But that does not help this GOP crowd running for president. What an uninspiring, wretched nomination process. They collectively stink. Let's take them on one by one.
Mitt Romney: Too cool for school. He is above us all ... wealthy, powerful and affronted by the fact he needs the conservative faction of his party because he assumes they will follow him to defeat Obama if he lands the nomination. No, Mitt, they don't like you, and unless you quit being so arrogant, they will supply you with just enough of the vote to ... lose.
Newt Gingrich: The smartest man in the room ... just ask him. Gingrich is a conservative, but he is captivated by the Washington, D.C., establishment. He's really never met a smart person who lived outside of Washington. And he has allowed his wife to become an issue in the campaign. She is the most seen, least liked candidate's spouse in recent memory. All unfair to her, but all as a result of Gingrich's silly making. She should have been Nancy Reagan, not a topic for abuse.
Rick Santorum: Acts like he has a screw loose. He smiles like a mule hit by a brick. I like the guy, but he seems about as presidential as an 18-year-old running for the campus student council.
Rick Perry: I actually feel sorry for this guy. Yes, we all know he was obnoxiously arrogant in Texas, but I feel like he has been humbled. But he is out of his league doing his obvious Ronald Reagan impersonation (red tie, hair parted the right way) minus ... the Reagan.
No wonder a Pew poll showed voter interest in this year's GOP field lower than 2008. That's right, lower than the pitiful 2008 primary that handed us a washed up, moderate, touchy and uninspiring John McCain. The Republican Party is in real trouble, and here is why ...
Every one of these candidates is in the hands of so-called "D.C. consultants" who live in a dream world. Most of these consultants have worked and billed every possible candidate, corporation or "other political entity" to death over the years. They are endlessly on flights, in meetings, at dinners ... all of which keep them totally out of touch with real America. Consequently, they come up with stupid ideas, and their equally sheltered candidates embrace the same crazy concepts.
Romney totally trashed Gingrich in Iowa via his "Super PAC." Are his people so stupid as to not think that most people understand that, while he does not control the PAC, he could have easily killed its efforts with one comment? He thinks we are stupid.
Gingrich acts like he had no control over the Gingrich Super PAC Bain Capital ads against Romney. Give me an equally fake-Romney break. Just like Romney, he could have signaled to kill the ads. As it turned out, Gingrich's greatest decline in the South Carolina polls was a result of those stupid ads.
As for Santorum and Perry ... why did they not give up and support Gingrich as the "conservative alternative?" They split the vote and will likely kill off a Romney alternative. I'll tell you why: They love the spotlight too much.
Then there is Ron Paul. So many times I start to agree with him — until he says something so insane that it takes all credibility away. His supporters are not crazy, as the media portray them ... but he might be.
God help the Republican Party. The Washington crowd has destroyed it, and President Obama, who has a rotten approval rating and would otherwise be a guarantee to be defeated, is smiling as a result of the insider influence of these ignorant and out-of-touch Washington GOP hacks. Hey, at least I know I'm not smart — these guys all think they really are the Lord's gift to the world ... what a mess.
Matt Towery is author of the book "Paranoid Nation: The Real Story of the 2008 Fight for the Presidency." He heads the polling and political information firm InsiderAdvantage. Follow him on Twitter @matttowery. To find out more about Matt Towery and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.