Dear Readers: As most of you know, our language continuously evolves due to new technologies, global phenomena, fads and slang terms that become mainstream. But in this case, it sounds as though the English language has "devolved," courtesy of liberal pundits, journalists and the Democrat spin machine.
As a result of polling and focus groups, the liberal elites have transformed the meanings of a few words and phrases in order to put their political ambitions in a better light. As a public service, I am here to illuminate these changes and translate them so that you will be better informed and not fall prey to these left-wing shenanigans.
Progressives — Liberals apparently are so ashamed of the negative connotation of the term "liberal" that they are desperately trying to switch their name to "progressives" in order to change the public's perception of their agenda. I'm sure the next step is to have all the talking heads refer to conservatives and Republicans as "regressives."
Hardworking Americans — One can also open the liberal thesaurus and find the terms "working class," "working families" and "union workers" substituted for this entry. According to their definition, liberals would have you believe Republicans, conservatives and the non-liberal wealthy cannot in any way be associated with the word "working." We all know that only liberals — uh, I'm sorry, progressives — are the only people who ever worked for their money.
Rich or Wealthy — As in "tax the rich." President Obama loves this bait-and-switch technique. We can all agree that someone earning over a million dollars is wealthy, but the problem lies in that the majority of Obama's tax increase proposals involve people earning $200,000 or more. Granted $200,000 is a nice living, but it's hardly in the league of the millionaires and billionaires that liberals so enviously bash.
Racism or Racist — The new definition of a racist is anyone who disagrees with President Obama. For example, back in the 1990s most on the right disagreed with the notion of Hillarycare. Today, those same people are called racist for criticizing Obamacare. I have consistently slammed liberal policies for years, but today if I bash Obama's actions, I might as well be wearing a white hood.
Preventative Care — Growing up, I was taught that brushing and flossing along with yearly physicals was preventative care. Under Obama's new lexicon, birth control pills and abortions are classified as preventative care and should be free. They are also suddenly constitutional rights. Let me get this straight, in a liberal's world pregnancy and unborn babies are diseases?
Everybody must pay their fair share — President Obama's favorite campaign bumper sticker is loaded with new definitions designed to promote envy and class warfare. The sentence breaks down as follows.
Everybody — Today only 53 percent of Americans pay federal income taxes. If Obama wants everybody to pay, shouldn't he require the other 47 percent to pay something? In other words, everybody actually means the group of somebodys that liberals legislate to be everybody. Not to be confused with Gladys Kravitz, who was a busybody.
Must pay — now means by force of the IRS or face jail time.
Fair share — whatever a liberal decides to be fair. The top 10 percent of income earners in America pay 70 percent of the income taxes, yet according to libs that isn't fair enough.
Just as soon as I consult with the mathematicians at MIT, look for future lessons on liberal math.
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