Now Hiring: The Trump White House

By Marc Dion

September 3, 2018 4 min read

There's a warehouse close to my house, and they're hiring.

They're always hiring up there. The jobs pay minimum wage, half of them are part time, and they monitor you electronically to make sure you're working. A guy who got a management job in that warehouse told me that an hour of his two-hour "orientation session" was devoted to a crudely made video about how to spot possible union organizers.

Still, people work there. People apply for jobs there all the time, and they get the jobs. And they either find something better, or they quit after a while, or they get fired. The "recruitment office" is always open, and the guy behind the desk tells you you'll be part of the "team."

When the warehouse first opened, it was a new business, and the broken-backed city where I live had offered that company a big tax break, because nothing beats working for minimum wage AND paying your rich employer's taxes.

Because it was a new business, full of promise and promises, a line of hopeful and desperate people showed up for the new company's "job fair," which had no relation to the jobs offered inside the warehouse or to any kind of fair. There's kettle corn at a fair.

They want a lot for the minimum wage these days. They wouldn't hire you if you didn't have a high school diploma, flunked the drug test or had just gotten out of prison. This thinned out the line considerably, but they didn't look too hard at any documents you had proving citizenship, because nothing is better than paying a rich company's property taxes so the illegal immigrants in your city can get a job.

It really didn't take long for word to get around down here among those people who do all their shopping either at the Walmart or at a secondhand store. Within six months, the city had a good-sized population of people who used to work at the warehouse, and were now spreading viciously true stories of how bad the employees were treated. The recruitment center remained open, and the company boasted about hiring veterans. I don't think that was a lie, either. I've had pizza delivered to my house by a guy who did two tours in Afghanistan. If called upon, he could have delivered pizza to my house during a mortar attack.

Veteran or nonveteran, legal or illegal, foreign-born or born on the 4th of July, the warehouse takes 'em all, men and women, and they must be doing OK profit-wise because the flag they fly out front is nice and new, and the minimum-wage employee who raises and lowers it is properly respectful, as all minimum-wage workers must be. The flag at the White House may be bouncing up and down like a tennis ball as John McCain gets ever-stiffer in the casket, but the warehouse does not embarrass America.

And why would they? If you're a big company in America right now, you can count your patriotism in millions of dollars. Who cares what happens to veterans? the rich guys say. If you're stupid enough to join the military, you deserve anything that happens to you.

The warehouse will stay in my city until the tax breaks run out, and they'll hire as many people as they lose, which is about 30 percent of their employees a year.

Working people know never to take a job at a place that's always hiring because there's a reason they're always hiring, and it's not that the employees keep dropping dead of sheer happiness.

The Trump administration is always hiring, and the regular working people know why.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Dion's latest book, "The Land of Trumpin," is a collection of his best columns about the minimum-wage presidency. It is available in paperback from, and for Nook, Kindle, iBooks and GooglePlay.

Photo credit: at Pixabay

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