I was standing in line at the pharmacy the other day, picking up one prescription for me and three for my mother. There were only six people in front of me in line, but a couple of them had questions about how they were paying and how much they were paying, so it took a while.

One of my mother's prescriptions wasn't ready because it requires the approval of her physician. The pharmacy faxed her doctor for authorization, but the doctor hadn't answered the fax yet.

And there was a slight bit of a misunderstanding as to the cost of Ma's diabetic test strips. Her insurance pays the full cost of the strips, but someone made a mistake, so they tried to charge me $123. That happens maybe twice a year. It took a while, but I straightened it out.

The day before, I'd called my primary care physician for an appointment. I got one, too. In 10 weeks. I'll be seeing the physician's assistant, not the doctor.

My copay had increased in price by $30, The insurance I get through my job wants me to get my prescriptions by mail order, so it's been demanding ever-larger co-pays if I get my high blood pressure medication at the pharmacy.

I like picking up my prescription in person because I can pay in cash. If I do it online, I have to use some kind of plastic card. Besides, if something goes wrong with a prescription now, I can go to the pharmacy and straighten out the mess.

Still, my one puny prescription is so much cheaper if I get it online that, after I got home from work the next night, I set up an online account with the mail-order pharmacy my insurance company has ordered me to use.

I have one of those medical accounts at my job, the kind that allows me to have money deducted from my paycheck every week, That money gets loaded onto a credit card so I can pay medical expenses, like mail-order prescriptions.

However, that card has been suspended because the people who issued the card are fighting with my dentist about what portion of my recent dental work can be paid for with money deducted from my own paycheck.

Last week, I went to my dentist's office and picked up some additional documentation of my dental expenses. I mailed that to the company that takes the money from my paycheck. Haven't heard back yet.

The same week I go to see the physician's assistant, I'm going to go with my mother to see her eye doctor. The last time she went, he gave her an incorrect prescription, so her new eyeglasses are not useful for seeing things.

Last winter, I had knee surgery. After my insurance paid their part, I ended up owing about $4,000 to a doctor, the hospital and two physical therapists. I've paid off the doctor, and I'm just about to pay off the physical therapists.

I still owe the hospital about $1,200. After I got out of the hospital, in December, I was living on disability pay, 60 percent of my salary. Every time the hospital sent me a bill, I sent them a check for $100.

The hospital called me and asked why I wasn't paying my bill. They said they were going to turn it over to a collection agency.

"I've been sending you $100 a month," I said.

"Let me get your account up on screen," said the woman on the other end of the line. "Oh, yes, I see you have sent us payments."

"Yup," I said.

"Would you like us to put you on a payment plan?" the woman said.

"Sure," I said.

There was a moment's pause.

"We can offer you a payment amount of $65 a month," the woman said, having shrewdly negotiated my monthly payment down by a third. The hospital isn't charging me interest on the balance, either.

Real Americans do not want any kind of government-provided health care because it will be costly, it will be run by idiotic bureaucrats, there will be tons of mistakes, the doctors will never want to see you, you'll have to stand in line all the time, and you'll have to give up control of your own medical destiny.

Jeez, that'd be awful.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com