"Why aren't you out arresting the real criminals?"

Because America is presently full of dumba—es with a dull ax to grind. We hear a lot of, "But Joe Biden had top-secret documents, too, and nothin's happened to him."

I can explain the difference between Biden's possession of top-secret documents and Trump's possession of top-secret documents with a simple story drawn from my own life, which is otherwise pretty dull.

I'm driving to the grocery store to buy a bunch of those carrots my wife won't stop buying. I make a turn, and I hear the siren of a police car behind me. I see the flashing lights. I pull over.

The officer, mustached and several generations younger than I am, asks for license and registration, both of which I have.

"Do you know why I stopped you, sir?" the officer asks.

"I bet I do," I say. "I've got a brake light out. Driver's side. Guy I work with told me about it when I pulled into the lot this morning. I'm getting it fixed tomorrow. Probably just needs a bulb."

The officer checked my license and registration while I sat quietly in the car. When he got back, he gave me what people call a "fix-it ticket," which is an official piece of paper saying you got stopped for driving without something like a functioning brake light. The piece of paper notes you've been stopped and gives you a certain number of days to get the problem fixed. If you get stopped for that same problem after those days go by, you get fined. You don't have to be a lawyer to understand the fix-it ticket.

The police officer handed me the ticket.

"Don't forget to get that brake light fixed," he said.

"I have an appointment tomorrow on my lunch hour," I said.

We wished each other a good evening, he walked back to his car, and I turned my stereo back up and drove off in search of carrots I wanted less than I wanted the fix-it ticket.

The next day, I got the light fixed. It was just a bulb.

The above is Joe Biden's top-secret documents problem.

Not that I had to pull over. Nobody HAS to pull over, not the first time they try it. I coulda handled it differently.

Same brake light, same day, same carrots, same cop, same lights and siren.

Except.

When the siren goes off, I take off, mashing the gas pedal to the floor. Predictably, the officer follows.

Over the next hour or so, the police chase me through a couple of suburbs and out onto the interstate. The state police get involved. Now I'm doing maybe 120 miles an hour, I've got 10 police cars chasing me, and I've still got one brake light out.

Eventually, I make it home. The police cars pull up in front of my house. They force me to my knees in the driveway because I'm obviously deranged.

"This is a witch hunt!" I yell as the handcuffs close on my wrists.

"Make sure those cuffs are on tight, Sarge," one of the cops says. "Guy's got really small hands. He could slip right out of them."

"You're deranged! I holler. "I can signal for a turn just by thinking about it!"

"This one's gonna need a psych evaluation," the sergeant says.

That is Donald Trump's top-secret documents problem.

One of the smartest things anyone ever said to me about police work was said to me by a very big police officer in a very small bar. I wasn't in any trouble, but he'd had three beers and was giving advice to the world.

"Don't fight me, and don't run away from me," he said. "All that gets you is more cops."

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion, and read features by Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Devil's Elbow: Dancing in the Ashes of America." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle, and iBooks.

Photo credit: Tharoushan Kandarajah at Unsplash