I heard Robert Mueller's statement on Wednesday, sitting in front of a dead microphone in the studio of WSAR, an AM radio station in Somerset, Massachusetts. I do a talk radio show four days a week.
Just before the 11 a.m. break, during a commercial, our newsman stuck his head on the door and told us he'd switch to the live feed of Mueller at the end of hour, just at the start of the break. The break went long because we broadcast the whole statement, and a little bit of the commentary that followed.
And that's where I was because you have to be somewhere when big history happens.
The statement, boiled free of Mueller's needed gentle legalese, says the Russian government influenced this country's last presidential election, and President Donald J. Trump's people welcomed the help, and that Trump's people tried to kill Mueller's investigation at every turn.
If, as the endless, puking Facebook posts say, stepping on the flag is the ultimate insult to America (And it's not. There are insults far dirtier), then Trump's office should be carpeted in flags, because every step he takes is a dirty shoe on the American flag. His underwear should be printed with flags, and so should his toilet paper.
And transgender people didn't do this to America. And African Americans didn't do this to America. And gay people didn't do this to America. And illegal immigrants didn't do this to America. And the Chinese didn't do this to America. And Hillary Clinton didn't do this to America. And football players taking a knee didn't do this to America. And people who believe in climate change didn't do this to America. Women who want abortions, atheists, Jihadis, Muslims, Crips, Bloods — none of them did this to America.
We did this; the free, the white, the bigoted masses of frightened people whose endless capacity for screeching hate was ripped open by a Russian laser of fake news that told you ham was banned in Dearborn, Michigan, and Michelle Obama has a penis, and other very stupid pieces of fake news that the Russians knew we were scared enough to believe.
We kept our eyes on the flag and lost sight of the country. Rushing to thank a veteran for his service, we walked right over the Constitution. We kept our Bibles and our guns, and threw away everything else. The Chinese, who make everything else, let us make our own chains.
In the decades after America's racially segregated army stormed ashore at Normandy Beach, we built freedom from prosperity. No more lynchings! Reproductive rights! Gay marriage! Voting for everyone!
And then, scared and stupid, brains filled with fake news, we traded every bit of it for a sickening return to the most bigoted, narrow-minded America we could remember, back to the days when patriotism was waving the American flag at a lynching.
This is our Normandy Beach, our moment to free our own country. The ballot still shines like an unsheathed sword. Take it up. Use it to take back the America we started to make, and almost finished making, before the Russians found this clownish front man who walks on the American flag with every step he takes.
To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, "The Land of Trumpin'," is a collection of his columns that has yet to be made illegal. For now. It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle, iBooks and GooglePlay.