Let's say you invite me and my vegetarian, nondrinking neighbor to a party at your house.

When I arrive, you hand me a ham-and-Swiss-cheese sandwich and a bottle of beer. When he arrives, you hand him a tofu hot dog and a fruit smoothie. Later, you give me a cigar, and you give him a carrot stick.

We're both happy. You're a good host because, at your party, there's something for everyone.

That's why the idea of constant surveillance by unmanned drones in the sky should make everyone happy, particularly those who have extremist tendencies, like me and my soy-munching neighbor.

If you're on the religious right, what better way to find out who isn't saying grace before meals? A drone flies over someone's house at dinner time. Its sensors don't pick up the words, "Bless us, O Lord," and you and your church buddies can send a minister directly to the house of the heathen, for fellowship purposes.

Left-wing social engineers get something out of this, too. Let's say you and your poker buddies are sitting down to a long game of Texas hold 'em when, suddenly, your buddy John starts to tell a racist or sexist joke. The drone, circling overhead, hears, "So, two Jews, a hillbilly and a black lesbian walk into a bar ..." Bang, the local chapter of Left-wingers Against Racist Jokes at Poker Games can have a sensitivity-training team speeding to your house (probably in a hybrid).

You're on the phone, making a doctor's appointment in a nearby abortion-friendly state. A drone hears it, and, ba-da-boom, protestors appear on your lawn, each one with a Bible and a gory picture of a dead baby.

I'm sitting on my stoop, smoking a pipe. High above, a sophisticated drone is talking pictures of my little smoke cloud, tracking it as it enters the open window of my next-door neighbor's house. The drone notifies police before the baby in that room can be killed by my secondhand smoke!

Babies, both born and fetal, will live because of these drones. Lack of a prayerful, godly life can be remedied, as can racist talk, bullying, sexist talk and talk against the Constitution or the Founders.

Kid sneaks a Bible to school, kid gets caught by a drone. Kids sneaks porn to school, kid gets caught by a drone. Guy in his 50s gets divorced and buys a Harley, drone laughs like hell, the way we all do.

Drones are a Democrat/Republican issue just now because Barack Obama's the current drone-master. But, tell me, in an America of political extremes, who, regardless of party, can resist the opportunity to finally, once and for all, watch, catch and correct those vicious, anti-American liberals/conservatives on the other side?

I've been living in extremist America for at least two decades now, surrounded by people who want to stop the disloyal/insensitive word before it leaves my lips, people who can't stop picking and poking at me, using the politics of left/right as a stick.

And I've been waiting for the drones, or for something very like the drones. I didn't know if the drones would be sent by liberals or conservatives, but I knew they were coming.

Leftists will love drones when their president is in charge. Rightists will love drones when their president is in charge.

Something for everyone. As for those of us in the middle, those of us who can't define everything we believe by saying either "liberal" or "conservative," we're going to get something, too. We're the ones they're gonna be watching.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.