There is a new judge in town, and it's Jerry Springer. Yes, that Jerry Springer. As a court TV connoisseur, I give his show "Judge Jerry" five out of five. It starts when he walks out in a resplendent royal blue robe. He then says hello to his bailiff Najee Hinds. Hinds is easy on the eyes but tough if anyone does not show respect for the court. For good reason. He was a correction officer on the biggest, baddest prison in the country, Rikers Island and is also a firefighter. As for Jerry, he is witty, quick on the uptake, fair in his judgment and unlike some judges (Judge Judy) he lets the witnesses talk. He is patient, even when they talk over each other. He lets it go for a while. If it does not stop, he bangs down the gavel.
It's the other judge who scares me — Judy, of course. If Mother Teresa walked into the courtroom, Judy would give her the evil eye. Two minutes in front of her, and I would yell "Guilty" just to get out. However, I had the pleasure of meeting her outside of the courtroom. She was delightful. I think that the lace collar she wears is like the Incredible Hulk; it turns her into a "don't mess with me" jurist.
Judge Greg Mathis not only talks the talk, he has walked the walk. He was a hooligan. When he learned his mother had terminal cancer, he turned around his life went to college, law school and became a judge.
He can be laugh out loud funny, philosophical when he sees someone in front of him has turned his life around, and he can be stern. He often tells recovering drug addicts that's great they are off drugs but it does not take away the pain they have caused loved ones. He also can spot a person who claims to be clean and sober but is not. In a tip of his hat to Dr. Phil, he will provide help for those who need and are willing to take it.
Judge Milian on "The People's Court" is emphatic. She often hands out advice using lines from her Hispanic background. Here is a tip: Do not interrupt her. She will cut you off and ask, "Did I just take a breath so you could talk?" Her court is filled with great sidekicks. Harvey Levin is the host. He is the one who talked her into taking the show. Her bailiff, Douglas, always calm and looks like he spends all his time off at the gym. If that was not enough, Doug Llewelyn is the guy in the hall asking winners and losers how they feel. He had the same job in Judge Wapner's version of "The People's Court." Llewellyn does not look a day older.
"Hot Bench" has three judges, each with a different style. Judge Corriero is kind. If you take him for a fool, off come the glasses and on comes a stern look. Judge Acker has a new hairstyle every day. As for her tough demeanor, it is pretty much stagnant. Judge DiMango, a girl from the Bronx, cuts through all the garbage.
Confession time. At 2 a.m. I am often watching court shows on my DVR. It is my guilty pleasure,
As we bring down the gavel on 2019 and ring in the new year, may you receive everything you wish for in the coming year.
To find out more about Lynda Hirsch and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: Daniel_B_photos at Pixabay