You know what's scarier than a vampire who just ate a bag of pretzels?
Some Halloween laws in Virginia. Below is a sample.
In Chesapeake, children who are 12 or younger may trick-or-treat from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Oct. 31. City code states: "If any person over the age of 12 years shall engage in the activity commonly known as 'trick or treat' or any other activity of similar character or nature under any name whatsoever, he or she shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a fine of not less than $25.00 nor more than $100.00 or by confinement in jail for not more than six months or both.
"If any person shall engage in the activity commonly known as 'trick or treat' or any other activity of similar character or nature under any name whatsoever after 8:00 p.m., he or she shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by a fine of not less than $10.00 nor more than $100.00 or by confinement in jail for not more than 30 days or both."
Six months in jail for "the activity commonly known as 'trick or treat'"?
As if that were not bad enough, what's with the "commonly known as"? What is trick-or-treating uncommonly known as? Aggressive neighbor-asking? Doorbell assault? Candy-collecting in the third degree?
The scariest costume that night should be a guy in a suit with a briefcase — whoever wrote this law.
If you needed any proof that regulations can sink into any crack of society, even the decision as to who gets candy when and how — or who walks around the neighborhood — voila. And all you need to get a provision like that passed is this simple mantra: "It's for safety."
Anyway, Chesapeake makes Newport News look positively benign:
"If any person beyond the seventh grade of school or over twelve (12) years of age shall engage in the activity commonly known as 'trick or treat' or any other activity of similar character or nature under any name whatsoever, such person shall be guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor," which carries "a fine of not more than $250."
Same rule in Norfolk. And in Suffolk, it is also against the law for anyone older than 12 to trick-or-treat.
Finally, if you are 10 or 11 and want to trick-or-treat in York County, go ahead — but not on your own! You "should be accompanied by an adult."
These rules are turning a holiday that used to celebrate childhood independence — out they went, on their own, in "grown-up" clothing to get to know their neighbors, to get brave by facing the dark, to get goodies by being bold and ringing doorbells — into an orgy of adult supervision and anxiety. The time frame gets shorter as the regulations grow, all seemingly based on the idea that anyone who's 13 or older is a potential hooligan and anyone 12 or younger is a potential victim, and any semblance of fun must be thrown out faster than a slightly tampered-with Snickers bar.
Holiday hint for 13-year-olds in Chesapeake: Trick-or-treat in an orange jumpsuit. That way, once you're booked, you won't have to change clothes.
Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, founder of Free-Range Kids and author of "Has the World Gone Skenazy?" To learn more about Lenore Skenazy ([email protected]) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.
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