Dear Jenny: I survived a life-threatening injury and the multiple complications that followed. Doctors tell me that few people could have survived what I've been through. Now, I look perfectly normal on the outside, but I have irreversible damage to my lungs and circulatory system. I can't do all the things I used to do, like rock climbing, hiking, weightlifting and, most importantly, my job as a firefighter.

I find myself pondering why this happened to me. Since the accident, I feel that life has come crashing down. It ruined my marriage and my career, and I feel as though I have no family or friends who are supportive. I try to meet partners, but when I tell them about my injury, and why I am retired, they seem to leave. I can't help but wonder what karmic force I upset to deserve this. I feel like I am running out of time, that I survived only to see what I don't have or may never have. Can you help? — Hanging by a Moment

Jenny says: First things first: How do you know this was meant to happen? Because it did. And how do you know you were meant to be here now? Because you are!

The truth is (and I know this sounds cliched, and is much easier said than done) that life is what you make of it. If you own the story that you are a victim, and nobody will accept you as you are now, that is exactly how you will be and how people will see you. Truthfully, most people do not want to be with those who feel sorry for themselves.

That's the bad news.

Now here's the good news ... You can turn this around. The first step is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Rather than be a victim, be a proud survivor. Not many people could have endured what you did. Be proud of that! Cherish the gift you have of still being here. Trust me when I tell you that if you start to think positively, you will attract the type of people you want to attract — those who are loving and supportive. People are drawn to positive energy rather than the negative energy you are currently putting out there. Positive people typically love themselves more, are far more likely to stick by someone, and have the confidence and strength to love that person no matter what. But it all starts with you! You have to love yourself first. Stop looking at the things that don't work right and focus on the things that do work: your mind, your heart and your spirit. Be proud of yourself and love yourself again, and others will, too!

To find out more about Jenny McCarthy and read features by Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.