Dear Monty: I would like to know the pros and cons of moving out of a home that you own with another person who refuses to sell the property to divide the assets. We have a mortgage, but we are not married. We co-own a house together.

Monty's Answer: Co-ownership disputes create one of real estate's most challenging situations because property rights don't disappear when relationships do. Your decision to move out or stay involves legal, financial and strategic considerations.

Your Options:

Option 1: File a partition lawsuit before moving out. Every co-owner has the legal right to force a sale through partition action, regardless of what the other owner wants. Courts recognize that people shouldn't be trapped in unwanted co-ownership. Costs range from $5,000 to $15,000 in attorney fees. Check out mediation as a low-cost alternative. The advantage here is that you maintain possession while the legal process unfolds, preserving your occupancy rights and preventing the other owner from claiming abandonment or exclusive possession.

Option 2: Move out while simultaneously filing for a partition. Moving out protects your mental health and safety while pursuing legal remedies. The key is documenting everything — send a written notice that you're not abandoning your ownership interest, continue paying your share of the mortgage to prevent default and keep records of all communications. The risk is that the remaining owner could claim adverse possession in some states after an extended period of occupation. However, this typically requires 7-20 years of exclusive, hostile possession, depending on the state's statutes.

Option 3: Negotiate a buyout before leaving. Engage a real estate attorney to draft a buyout proposal where the other owner purchases your interest at fair market value. Get an independent fee appraisal to establish value. According to the Uniform Standards of Professional Appraisal Practice guidelines, a proper appraisal costs $300-$500 and provides a defensible valuation. Offer seller financing if needed to facilitate the transaction. Your offer to sell avoids litigation costs, but it requires the cooperation of the other party.

Option 4: Stay and make the situation untenable for the resistant co-owner. List the property for sale unilaterally. One co-owner can typically compel showings even if the other objects. Reduce your financial contributions to the minimum required for a resolution. This adversarial approach often prompts settlement discussions but may damage the property's marketability and your legal position.

Critical Considerations: Your mortgage situation matters enormously. If you're both on the loan, moving out doesn't eliminate your payment obligation or liability for default. Don't assume moving out means losing equity. Courts generally don't view temporary absence as abandonment of property rights when ownership intentions are clearly documented and financial obligations are maintained. The other owner's refusal to sell creates what legal scholars call "economic waste" — forcing continued expenses on an unwanted asset. Courts recognize this inefficiency, which is why partition laws exist in every state.

How to proceed: Consult a real estate attorney immediately, even before deciding whether to move out. Many offer free consultations and can assess your specific situation, including your state's partition laws, adverse possession statutes and strategic timing. The $200-$400 consultation cost provides clarity worth thousands in avoided mistakes.

You have more power here than you realize — the law sides with co-owners seeking partition.

Richard Montgomery is a syndicated columnist, published author, retired real estate executive, serial entrepreneur and the founder of DearMonty.com and PropBox, Inc. He provides consumers with options to real estate issues. Follow him on Twitter (X) @montgomRM or DearMonty.com.

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