Dear Margo: Before my husband and I married, he was married to another woman. That marriage lasted just three months, as his ex-wife had an extramarital affair. The divorce was pretty straightforward, though messy, and my husband had to remove her from the house because she refused to leave after the divorce was finalized.

That was five years ago. The ex has since remarried and recently moved into the house next door to ours! Our house is the one that my husband and his ex shared while they were married. I don't believe her new husband (who is a brain surgeon) knows they are living next door to her ex-husband, as I can't imagine any husband voluntarily agreeing to live next door to his spouse's ex.

Why do you think she would purposely move next door to a house that has such bad memories for her? And why would she risk her new marriage to move next door to her ex-husband? By the way, the ex has children from her first marriage who also lived in our house while she was married to my husband. Do you think she bribed her kids to stay quiet about the fact that they used to live next door? — Perplexed in the West

Dear Perp: For whatever it's worth, I am perplexed right along with you. The fact that the kids know the history makes me think the new husband does, too. Maybe the doc feels the proximity has no meaning. Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe it's a nice neighborhood. As for this woman's new mate, brain surgery is not rocket science. (Joke made by a heart surgeon's wife.)

As close as I can come to a guess that makes any sense is that the wife for three months thinks she is somehow irritating her former husband, and you. Since he had her removed from that dwelling, maybe living right next door satisfies some (strange) need, like haunting his house. — Margo, bemusedly

When Mother Doesn't Always Know Best

Dear Margo: I have a 10-year-old daughter. Her best friend, "Megan," is the daughter of a divorced friend of mine, "Dave." Megan sent an e-mail to my daughter last week asking if she could stay the night at our house, as she has done many times while staying with her father — only this time she was staying with her mother.

Well, after the sleepover the mother said Megan could never stay here again because my daughter doesn't go to her daughter's church. Her mother lives two towns away from me, and I certainly won't drive my daughter an hour away to go to church when we have respectable churches in our town. The funny part is, the mother doesn't even go to church!

My daughter is now upset with me because I won't let her go to the church Megan's mom has "approved of." I think it is crazy that a mother would make a daughter forgo a friendship for such a nutty reason. How should I explain this to my very hurt daughter? — Member of the "Wrong" Church

Dear Mem: I think a child who's 10 is old enough to understand that religion is a personal thing, and while Megan's mother can decide what's right for her, she cannot dictate to anyone else.

I hope you will feel free to tell your daughter that the friend's mother is way off base on this one, and small-minded, to boot. Then explain what "bigoted" means. Let's hope the sleepovers will at least continue when it's the child's weekend with her father. — Margo, reasonably

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.