Dear Margo: After almost 50 years of marriage and two years of widowhood, a wonderful man has asked me to be his wife. (Who knew it could happen at my age?)

It will be a few months before the actual ceremony, but many obstacles are presenting themselves. For instance, how to deal with an elderly parent who refuses to move from her apartment to be closer to where we will live? So far she is capable of maintaining her own small space, and I could still come to her town and help with shopping once a week, but her stubbornness is making me crazy.

On top of that, my oldest son and a couple of grandchildren seem to think it is weird that people of our age want to be together. Wonder what they would think if they knew what a wonderful, exciting and active sex life we have?

What do we owe children, grandchildren and parents at this point in our lives? Any suggestions for seniors in love? — Snow on the Roof

Dear Snow: How wonderful that you and your fiance have discovered love among the ruins.

As for the obstacles, well, OK, your family, let's start with your mother. If you were married 50 years, she conceivably could be approaching centenarian territory. When she can no longer live independently, it will reveal itself, and then you will be in charge of the arrangements.

As for your son and the grands, my philosophy is that children, of any age, do not get a vote. The fact that they find your having a companion "weird" just means they're somewhat limited in their thinking.

What you do not owe family members is living your life according to what they think it ought to be. (And do keep the sex stuff to yourself. This seems to be a secret in the Social Security set.) — Margo, connubially

Dear Margo: I am a knitter involved in a number of online communities discussing this popular craft.

Many knitters are accustomed to working on small projects wherever they are — waiting rooms, public transportation, in the car, etc. As a consequence, the subject of "knitting etiquette" is discussed fairly often, and these debates become heated.

Experienced knitters can carry on conversations while knitting, barely paying attention to the needles in their hands. Many believe that it's perfectly acceptable to knit while in social settings (graduation ceremonies, parties, family reunions, etc.).

The latest debate concerned a wedding reception: Could an experienced knitter bring a small project to a reception without being rude? My opinion is that knitting is inappropriate in any setting that is not casual (like the wedding reception, or a graduation ceremony).

Even if one can listen and participate attentively, knitting away on a sock makes you seem uninterested in the proceedings. I equate it with skimming a magazine or reading a book at one of these events. Can you please share your insight on this? — Polite Knitter in New York

Dear Pol: Aha! I am a needlepointer and am always trying to figure out when I can get away with doing needlework in public! I think "casual" is the keyword here.

If, for example, you're at a holiday dinner, say Thanksgiving, where people sit around for quite a while before and after the meal, then it's OK to do hand work — so long as you can make eye contact every once in a while, and occasionally speak so they don't think you've passed out.

Community meetings, for example, would be acceptable occasions to knit, but any ceremonial occasion would make a knitter look like a clod. (And now, the same conundrum is facing people who use BlackBerries and Treos!) — Margo, attentively

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.