Dear Margo: I have a lovely 17-year-old daughter who identifies herself as bisexual and is currently in a relationship with a very nice young lady (same age) whom we have known for several years.

I feel blessed that my daughter feels comfortable and secure enough with my husband and me to let us know about this relationship. BUT . . . how do I answer questions from friends and parents of other teens about whether my daughter has a boyfriend yet?

These people are not prying; it's just the usual chitchat about who's going out with whom. While my daughter is "out" at her school to her friends, she is not yet easy talking about it with, say, her rather conservative grandparents. How do I deflect the question about boyfriends? — Mom Who Wants To Say the Right Thing

Dear Mom: I commend you and your husband for your accepting and loving attitude toward your daughter's sexuality.

As for responding to questions about whether there's a boyfriend, you have some options, according to how you want to play it. You could say any of the following: "There may be someone special, we're not exactly sure." "No boyfriend at the moment." "Actually, she has a girlfriend right now."

If all the parents of gay kids could be like you, the world would be a calmer place. You have my admiration. — Margo, comfortably

Dear Margo: I need your advice about how to deal with the mother of my 9-year-old son's best friend.

My son and "Mikey" have been friends since they were in diapers, and Mikey is not the problem. He is actually a pleasure to have around. He is, however, very advanced intellectually, and there is no question that he is far ahead of his peers.

The problem is his mother (whom I also socialize with). She takes every opportunity to point out how superior her son is. E-mails, phone calls, two-page Christmas letters outlining every accomplishment, top grade, accolade, etc. She has now moved into the sports realm, boasting that "Mikey has never even tried playing (insert sport here), but is now the star of the team."

Recently, the two boys were going to play chess. My son is just learning the game, and had the boys been left to their own devices, Mikey would have been helpful and taught my son some pointers. Instead, the first words out of his mother's mouth were, "Mikey played chess against a much older boy the other day and beat him!" My son was totally intimidated and did not want to play.

I have no idea what to say to this woman without sounding like a shrew, but the bragging is getting on my nerves. — Bummed Out With the Bragging

Dear Bum: Aren't these kinds of parents a pain? You would be doing Mikey's mother a favor by having a cup of coffee with her and cluing her in that everyone knows her son is gifted, and all she does when she harps on his achievements is make other people feel as though their kids don't measure up. You might also point out that her son needs friends, and to make them all feel like doofuses is not in his interest.

Maybe the most important thing you could say is that what her son is picking up from her is that he is better and brainier than his peers, which will not enhance his life. If you can get across to her the concept of "understatement," you will have done her AND her son a great favor. — Margo, understatedly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.