Dear Margo: Lately, I have been interviewing with prospective employers who are middle-aged men, and they've been asking inappropriate questions. Just because it is a bad economy right now does not mean bad manners are acceptable. Within the first five minutes of these interviews, I am being asked about my marital status, whether I live with someone and have kids, and, the worst: "How are you paying your bills right now?" I almost walked out of the interview on that one. So far I have told them these are not questions they are allowed to ask, and that my financial situation is private. Of course, I did not get these jobs. Please advise on how I might react to these questions in a better way. I rarely mix work with home life or even tell many employees about my life. Thanks for your time and consideration. — Sick of It

Dear Sick: I would say the appropriateness of such questions depends on the industry and the job description. For example, if traveling were part of the job, a prospective employer would legitimately need to gauge the family responsibilities you have. The "living with someone" question is definitely out of bounds. I can't tell whether you think, by the nature of these questions, that these men are hitting on you. If you are drop-dead gorgeous, the answer is probably yes.

Your mentioning the tough economy does suggest that you might want to consider answering questions you do not care for, unless you feel strongly that the answer is nobody's business. Should such a question be asked, however, you might, yourself, ask: "And how is this relevant to the position we're speaking about?" This question does two things: It signals that it may be an improper, if not illegal, question to ask, allowing it to be withdrawn. And it permits the interview to keep going. — Margo, alternatively

Another Way To Say MYOB

Dear Margo: I am a 5-foot-7-inch male in my mid-40s. Recently, my employer had a health fair where I had the chance to get my cholesterol, sugar and weight checked. I weighed 174 pounds! I decided to implement some changes to get back to my preferred weight range of 155 pounds to 160 pounds (and stay there). The problem is the "food police" around me.

When I am at work or at a social event, I choose my food and portion sizes carefully. Why do people feel the need to "evaluate" and comment on what is on my plate? I have heard remarks ranging from "Is that all you're eating?" to "Don't tell me you're on a diet!" — usually accompanied by a sarcastic tone. People who offer unsolicited advice are not necessarily the ones in a position to offer it (if you know what I mean). Could you help with a response that is respectful and polite but at the same time assertive? — On My Way to a Healthy Weight

Dear On: Remarkable, isn't it, how some people think everything is their business? I don't think "respectful" and "polite" are necessary when you're putting someone in his or her place. I would simply suggest to people taking an inventory of your plate that a better opening gambit for social chitchat is "How's it going?" Nowhere is it written that every question deserves an answer. — Margo, correctly

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.