Dear Margo: I am a happily married Catholic woman who goes to church every morning before going to the office. In the course of my daily routine I met this guy who works in the church, and he is married, too.
I enjoy his company because we share views about life, problems, work and anything under the sun. Sometimes I ask him for advice and freely share with him my deepest thoughts. In short, we've become friends, but the problem is I am starting to have feelings for him.
I look forward to our daily morning conversation and phone/text/e-mail correspondence. He admitted that he's attracted to me. I was flattered but afraid of my own feelings. It is so ironic that we got tempted in the house of the Lord. I am ashamed that I am letting this progress, but to be honest with you, I dig the attention and the admiration.
Should I stop going to the church so as not to encourage him? Truthfully, I would miss him. Please tell me what course of action I should take. — Mrs. Confused
Dear Mrs.: My dear, WWJD? Certainly not condone flirting amongst the votive candles and Stations of the Cross. The dynamic here is the same as if you'd met in a bar, except there are kneeling pads and stained glass windows.
I am curious about your saying "he works in the church," and wondering if either of you has taken this predicament to your confessor? In any case, you definitely should not succumb to adultery spawned in the pews.
I hope you can understand that you are flattered, as you say, by the attention and leave it at that. Perhaps another church would help, now that you mention it. — Margo, honorably
When a Mother Is Way Off the Mark
Dear Margo: I am a college student who's recently found myself in an odd situation. Over the Christmas break when I went home, my mother made a remark stating that she thought I was gay or was "headed that way."
I understand I may not be feminine enough for her (not wearing dresses, not flirting with guys, etc.), and my recent stance about refusing to insult GLBT individuals has her questioning my sexuality, but she refuses to see that I can be who I am and straight.
Not only does she think I'm gay, she also thinks I party all the time at college and get drunk every chance I get. I've tried to tell her many times that I do not drink at college, and my friends actually tell me I don't get out enough, but she still does not trust me.
She has curtailed her communications with me, and if I want to talk to her, I have to contact her. I am not looking forward to the next break, but I have no other choice but to go home. I have no idea how to make her see I might not be the conventional girl she wants me to be, but that I'm not the deviant child she believes me to be. — On the Straight and Narrow
Dear On: Something sounds off here, and it sounds like your mother. It really is odd to imagine a straight kid is gay or "headed that way." And hanging the souse label on you is another weird thing. To reduce contact with you is altogether beyond my comprehension.
If there's a father/husband in the picture, you might ask him what he thinks this is all about. If not, tell your mother you are concerned about her erroneous suppositions and hurtful behavior and would like the two of you to see a family therapist. — Margo, perplexedly
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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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