Dear Margo: I'm in my mid-20s and have been dating my boyfriend for two years, living together for one. When we first moved in together, my boyfriend was actively looking at engagement rings, and it seemed a proposal was on the way.

Somewhere along the line, he indicated that he had "changed his mind" and wasn't in a rush to get married. We were both making the transition from college life to the working world, and once we both got full-time jobs, our sex life started to dwindle. My boyfriend also said that the weight I'd put on since we started dating wasn't helping matters.

I have a somewhat conservative Catholic family that adores my boyfriend but is uncomfortable with the whole living-in-sin thing. We only get to see my parents a couple times a year, and recently, when we went to visit them for the holidays, a family heirloom ring was available to my boyfriend if he wanted to give it to me. Well, we left without the ring.

Now my family is putting pressure on me to become an honest woman while my boyfriend is digging in his heels against it. I love my boyfriend and really hate the idea of giving him an ultimatum, but I want to get married. Should I be pressing my boyfriend to commit? — Living in Sinful Limbo Land

Dear Liv: Where is the joy in pressuring someone into marriage? He's changed his mind about getting hitched, has a problem with your weight, and the sex has gone to hell. Problems are seldom solved by marriage, my dear.

Regarding an ultimatum, why would you want to lasso a guy into marrying you? Do not exit this relationship because your parents are pressuring you, but because bludgeoning a guy into proposing is not the way to go. (And calling it a day, by the way, can sometimes be its own powerful, unspoken ultimatum.)

Dear Margo: I am 24 years old and have worked in the same law firm as my father since I was 17. During the past seven years, he has continued to ask for favors or asked me to do things for him that I felt were inappropriate for the workplace.

For example, he might come over to my desk and ask me to rub his neck or scratch his back. Granted, he has limited mobility due to back problems, but I do not think that justifies interrupting my workday. My other problem is that he interrupts a work project, or even a meeting, to get me to do things for him at his house, where I have not lived for seven years.

I always ask him to be more professional, and he always tells me he is professional. I think he doesn't see the problem because I am his daughter. Everyone else feels for me, and they try to keep him "in his place," so most of the time, things are fine. However, my patience seems to have a seven-year sunset clause. What do I do? Am I right to be fed up and offended? — Daughter Who Is All Grown Up

Dear Daughter: Perhaps you might go to the senior partner and ask for outside intervention . . . unless your father is the senior partner. Because Daddy-o is not listening to you, you need to enlist someone who is his peer to point out that younger associates are not there to rub necks, scratch backs or go to colleagues' homes to do chores.

At 24, you could also speak up for yourself — again — and tell him you need to be treated like any other employee in the office. You might also buy him a back-scratcher.

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.