Q. After a couple years of living in a retirement center and enjoying our time here in our retirement, my wife is not happy about going to our club house to play cards or even to just check out books from our excellent library. That is not like her usual attitude of being positive and happy here. Last week, a lady criticized her for the dress she was wearing, and finished off her negative conversation by asking why by why she was ten minutes late for their bridge game. Should we take issue with her, and simply accept the complainer as having her own problems, or consider other options?

A. Individuals do what they do, and understand there are no justifiable reasons to explain why they do so. Many factors go into how relationships differ, especially as we face aging and changes later in life.

My take is that one bad lemon does not make for the whole bagful. The other bridge players may have felt that member was out of line also, but may have known her better, and knew that was her regular personality and chose not to make a federal case of her attack.

Although it is not easy to live with negative personalities, there are options. Have your noticed if your wife is becoming more negative about other issues? If so, scheduling a doctor's appointment may prove helpful. Should your wife resign as a bridge member and let things settle down before rejoining? Are there other clubs where she would be happier?

Maintaining a positive attitude is a challenge and needs attention.

A partner's job is to be the best caretaker we can be because we love them as they love us. Take baby steps in sorting out your lifestyles. Amazingly sometimes making changes works out to be secret of happiness!

As Joan Billins is quoted: "Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough."

BECOME AWARE OF SIGNING LEGAL PAPERS!

Q: We have been asked by kindly neighbors to sign a Durable Power of Attorney and an Advanced Health Care directive. We are hesitating because we do not know what these papers are and whether we would find ourselves in some future legal matters. Should we agree to do so?

A: Although I am not a lawyer, I have not heard of any situation in which there had been any question or need to be concerned about signing either types of these legal papers.

On my health-related orders I post on my refrigerator door in the event of emergency treatments is the Statement- Signature of Patient, Decision Maker, Patient of Minor or Conservator.

By signing this form, the legally recognized decision maker acknowledges that this request regarding resuscitative measures is consistent with the know desires of land with the best interest of the individual who is the subject of the form.

Should you be concerned, I would advise you to consul legal council and your doctor for advice.

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Elliott Brown