Q: After living in a retirement community for a couple of years, we've learned how many seniors express their differences. Most husbands and wives settle back and take a deep breath. They appreciate their newfound freedom, believe they are in a safer, better place and learn the other residents are in the same boat looking forward to their new lifestyles.

Most of them have raised families and are enjoying their grandchildren. Settling into this new community, they excitedly anticipate making new friends and feel happier. They become friendlier, trying to help each other by being good listeners and discussing common issues they face. People often procrastinate making decisions in fear of making mistakes, and appreciate when others offer their opinions.

Their primary goals are to maintain good health, monitor their incomes and spending, maintain positive attitudes and reconfirm their religions and faith. But some individuals will always vocally express their sourpuss attitudes toward life and try to recruit others to their ways of thinking, pouring as much cold water as possible on our "paradise." How can we live with these kinds of residents?

A: Even if you would are willing to make friends with these negative residents, it is highly unlikely you will be able to do so.

If, by retirement time, they have chosen to be unhappy campers, they are locked in their positions and will let everyone know it. The best solution to overcome their negative influences is to always plan to have something to do: Find a passion, elect to make a difference, stay involved and continue to socialize. By doing so, psychologists guarantee you'll be able to determine your own future and live longer.

As the comedian George Burns said, "By the time you're 80 years old, you've learned everything. You only have to remember it."

Q: When we moved to our current home 10 years ago, we thought we had done a heroic job of downsizing. But we were emotionally attached to our holiday decorations, which, even today, includes our plastic tree with its hand-decorated ornaments, 3-foot wooden reindeer and kids' first wagon, still kept in the garage. We drag them out every holiday season to remind ourselves of the wonderful holidays we've shared and the dumb things we've enjoyed laughing about.

Because of our emotional attachment, we think the time has come to let these items go. Should we?

A: Probably yes, because you feel the time has come. We learn that when it becomes too much of a chore to decorate our homes, buy gifts, make plans to get together and still find time for naps that the decision has been made for us.

Enjoy these things this year and then offer them to your family, donating the remainder to charity.

"USING OR LOSING" answers your question!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.