Q: I've been extremely fortunate to have had a successful career for myself, and I worked hard and looked forward to retiring comfortably. I've been retired for 8 years now, and enjoy spending the time with my wife, although it was initially strange to have all the free time.

However, my daughter hasn't had the same success in her career, especially as the economy hasn't been robust. I learned to manage my money effectively and tried to pass the knowledge down to her and her sisters. Now I'm wondering if I was successful in teaching it to them.

My daughter recently asked me to help her financially to support her through these hard times. However, it's frustrating to support her, especially while her sisters have been more financially prudent.

I love my children and want to help them, but don't know how to go about it. How do you think I can help my daughter in the future?

A: Most of us spend a lot of time discussing our money, or rather the lack of it. Even in our sixties, this continues to be one of our major concerns. We all feel the pressure of needing to earn enough to cover tax increases, our grandchildren's college tuition, insurance, on top of food and living expenses.

We try as best we can to look ahead and plan for costs, but it's hard to anticipate life!

Many researchers say that the real value of money is for security. It allows us to adapt to the daily surprises. However, your daughter hasn't been able to create her own money cushion.

Make her know you're on her side, but give her concrete advice going forward. — Doug

A: When your children have all reached adulthood and are self-sufficient, they are no longer financially accountable to you. They have learned the lessons you have to teach, and don't always feel like they have to take your advice and opinion under consideration.

However, the situation you're in now is somewhat of a reversion back to the past. Because your daughter is struggling, it seems like she has more to learn (which you may very well be able to help her with)!

Remind yourself that life always manages to throw us an occasional curveball. Perhaps you've had a similar situation yourself.

You are in no way obligated to assist your daughter, so it's up to your discretion as to what to do. If you decide to, make sure to discuss your daughter's finances with her, and see if there are any obvious changes she could make. There may be some friction, but you should be able to choose where to spend your savings. The best way to manage money is to have concrete plans.

In the interest of fairness to her siblings, you may want to compensate this in their inheritances. Make this clear to everyone beforehand to avoid potential resentment. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.