Q: As a career businessman and having followed Dale Carnegie's relationship advice I have experienced a successful sales career. Carnegie hammered the point that one of the most important things to every human being is the sound of his or her name. I followed his advice.

Now, retired, and living in a large retirement community, I am finding that remembering names is a real challenge, and sometimes I have difficulty remembering even my neighbors' names.

Realizing I am slipping a little mentally, what is my next move?

A: Think back to how easy it was for you while you were working, and all the capabilities you had.

Attitude, focus, and concentration are key elements for remembering names. You have not lost your ability to remember, you simply need more time to do so. As we age often our brains play fuzzy tricks on us and slow down our memory functioning. Assure yourself you are not alone and others are also experiencing similar problems.

You are anticipating these lapses, expecting that you'll need extra time to come up with a name stashed away in your brain's file cabinet. This expectation might actually even cause you to be a little slower. That happens to me.

Before searching for better memory solutions, you should consider starting with your current hearing capability. Amazingly, it often turns out that hearing loss is the real problem. Test that out first.

Next, now that your are retired, you may be bored, more relaxed, not as concerned, less caring and generally not interested in becoming more active. After retirement a lot of pressure and stress is usually released as you have paid your dues in your working years, and are enjoying your life more.

Calling people by their names is also a winning habit as fewer individuals make it a regular practice. Doing so at every age is one key to opening doors. It creates connections and friendships.

You can continue to recall names better if you become less concerned and nervous and instead feel comfortable about asking others to repeat and spell their names. The classic memory pegs such as associating names with objects, animals, their careers or passions are all good techniques.

One reader has suggested that upon meeting a new person, you repeat their name aloud 10 times (after leaving them). It works for him.

EMERGENCY LIST

Q: I have lived happily in my home nearly 40 years. I hope to continue to do so. My adult grandson recently spent a few days with me. While doing so he asked if I had an emergency checklist available. Embarrassingly, I said, "No!"

He said, "Let's sit down and create a starter one." He even listed and detailed how my two best friends — my two cats — were to be cared for. He then said he would take our lists home, make a few additions of phone numbers and addresses, and return copies for me to tape to my fridge, add to my purse, leave in the bedroom and send other family members.

A: You are one lucky grandmother!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.