Q: Our grandson and his finance are planning an October wedding. Based on the fact that we haven't had a divorce in our family in the last several generations, they are eager to ask for our advice about how to accomplish such a feat.

Do you have a checklist of things we could recommend?

A: Every successful couple finds their own methods to strengthen the relationship and stay together. However, there are many recurring pieces of advice that are useful to all.

Never go to bed mad.

Do not be angry at the same time. You will have your turn.

Do not shove your opinions down your spouse's throat. When you have different opinions, suggest a compromise. Take turns trying to do so.

Do not ask about how much money the in-laws have and make.

Do not always assume the worst-case scenario.

Communicate consistently. You need to ask what your partner is thinking and feeling so you can improve your relationship. There's no way to know what someone else is thinking unless you ask!

Always greet your spouse with affection and joy.

Don't criticize your in-laws. Drawing lines in the sand breeds conflict in any family.

Agree on making a family budget to make sure you both know where your income is being spent.

Maintain your health. It should be a major priority, so discuss how you can help each other to achieve this goal.

Give each other some private time for peace, hobbies and friendships.

Make it a goal to love and care for each other. Never lose focus on this!

Finally, you can look at your own successful marriage to see what worked and what didn't. What behaviors carried you through tough times? If two people can weather their trials and tribulations, they will love each other even more when times are good. — Doug

CROWDED HOME

Q: My father is selling his home, as he is no longer able to maintain it or navigate around the stairs. He is now deciding where he would like to move. My sister has suggested that we offer to have him live with us, but she has not offered to do so herself. I think it would be very difficult to add another person into our hectic household with young children.

What can I do?

A: It's always difficult to navigate this kind of familial conflict. Although you'd like to do the best thing for your father, you also have to prioritize your children.

Before you make this into a full-blown conflict, have an honest discussion with your sister. Bring up your concerns, and ask her about her own. Communication can cut down a lot of unnecessary drama.

Finally, ask your father about what he'd prefer. Although you might not be able to add another person to your home, your father could move nearby, and you could visit him regularly. Tell your father about your situation, and assure him that you love him and want to keep him in your life. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com