Q: We suspect both of my parents will need help soon based on their current health situations. I am an only child, and my husband and I are the only support they have. Lately, we realize they are becoming more disorganized and offer fuzzy answers to our questions. We realize our need to prepare and feel we are in a position to take charge of their decisions and care. How can we accomplish this best?

A: Reality No. 1: Proper paperwork is crucial. Now, make certain they have already signed a power of attorney and a health care proxy. If they have not, should anything happen, you will not be able to make decisions for them without going to court to become appointed guardians. This process takes time, is messy and can be costly. You don't want to experience that kind of stress.

Make a plan. Should you get an emergency phone call, be prepared to activate your plan. Begin your homework and research NOW!

What is their financial situation? Do they, or you, have the ability to pay for their institutional care? Unless they have purchased long-term care insurance, you will quickly learn how expensive institutional providers charge. Normally, Medicare does not cover long-term care expenses.

Investigate and learn what options you have regarding their current housing situation. How long would it take to clean up, rent, sell or figure out another solution? Where would a healthy surviving parent live? If your parents have not volunteered answers to these questions, now is the time to ask.

I am aware of a number of major disasters that occurred when a son was not prepared to handle his mother's emergency needs!

Q: Occasionally, I blurt out a criticism to a friend without giving it much thought. After I express myself, I realize I have made a mistake and immediately regret it. Having done so, I sometimes have lost friends by misjudging them, and even though I apologized, our relationship was never quite as close. Of course, once something is said, it is almost impossible to take it back. How can I learn to keep my criticism to myself?

A: In the heat of the moment, sometimes we are all subject to overreacting and saying things we will later regret. Train yourself to take a moment before you respond, which will give you a few extra seconds to truly consider what someone else has said.

Think about the consequences of your words. For example, saying, "goodbye," "I want a divorce," "I lied," "I am having an affair," "I'm leaving you," "I don't trust you anymore" and other dynamite action words cause a multitude of different reactions.

Your goal is to maintain your friendships, to understand everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and a single comment with which you disagree is not worth the risk of ruining a valuable friendship!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.