Q: Both my husband and I plan to retire on June 30, 2015. We are trying to prepare ourselves now so our transition will be easier. It seems couples already in retirement have differences of opinion about what to do, but they are nevertheless willing to share their suggestions.

Some find learning to live together full time means more compromise, a need to find and welcome new friends, and a need to share hobbies and maintain positive attitudes. All of this makes them happier, more loving and contented.

We are both reasonably healthy. We will have small pensions, our Social Security incomes, $75,000 in savings and a mortgage-free home.

Can you clue us in about what other factors we may face?

A: Almost all retirees soon learn they have underestimated how expensive retirement can be. Miscalculating your expenses is caused primarily by rising silent inflation, increased medical expenses as we age, in home or institutional help needs and expenses, and other factors over which we don't have control. Few expect their incomes to increase.

All retirees fear they will not have sufficient money to fund their remaining years. Sometimes, our families ask to borrow money for their needs, and we try to help out.

On certain websites, there are some free helpful retirement worksheets. I like the ones available through Freddie Mac and the Financial Planning Association.

Q: As a male widower, I feel I have been hit hard by issues over which I had no control. My wife passed away from cancer two years ago, and our son was seriously permanently injured when a drunk driver hit him while he was he was riding his bicycle. How can I raise my sprits and move forward with my life?

A: Resilience becomes a major factor in boosting your spirits. Believe in yourself and to change your life, realize that your best shot is to rise above what has happened.

You are not alone. Unexpected tragedies and health issues happen to families every day.

Bad times can get better when you become stronger and understand that you need to go through a grieving process. Grief is over when you decide it is!

Seek the support of family members, friends, counselors, pastors, doctors and others who have experienced or are experiencing pain and suffering now.

Hang on and associate with others who may be going through even worse times.

Choose the attitude that things will get better and do not hesitate to seek support. Amazingly, asking for help, advice and support is often exactly what others need, too.

Writing is an important option. One reader, who experienced a very angry divorce and became very depressed, decided to ease her pain by writing a mean and very nasty letter to her ex-husband every day. She never mailed them but found that writing them relieved her of her worst thoughts. Letting it out worked out for her. SHE FELT BETTER!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at [email protected]. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.