Menopause is having a moment right now, and I hope it becomes a movement. I'm a 50-year-old perimenopausal woman and none of my doctors prepared me for this important milestone. When my children were born, I knew every developmental milestone to expect. Even when I was pregnant, I learned what to expect when I was expecting. Once my babies were born, we tracked their growth and development at every well-check appointment. Perhaps this is why I don't understand how grown women could be so medically disregarded.

Why was my therapist the only professional to suggest that perhaps the struggles I was having in my marriage could be related to my hormonal changes?

In between my physician's reminders to get my flu shot and COVID booster, why was I not also informed of what was coming down the pike with perimenopause? It took me listening to a two-part conversation on the podcast "The Diary of a CEO" with four top women's health professionals to fully grasp what was going on. When orthopedic surgeon Dr. Vonda Wright shared her story of motherhood at 40 and how she went from postpartum to perimenopause, my jaw dropped. She was telling my story. I sent it to my husband, urging him to listen. This podcast made me feel so seen.

Sure, we all know about proverbial hot flashes. Pop culture covers that pretty well. But no doctor has ever talked to me about how hot flashes can be an indicator of cardiac health for perimenopausal patients. It turns out they are linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease. And when I watched my cholesterol levels push outside the normal ranges in my lab work, no one discussed with me the connection between decreasing estrogen and its significant role in cholesterol regulation. When my shoulders developed constant pain and I went from x-rays to MRI and then physical therapy, no doctor considered the possibility of musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause.

Then there's the decreased libido and how that affected my relationship and sometimes made me question myself, especially since that's never been an issue for me before. I cannot drive down the highway or listen to the radio without hearing an ad or seeing a billboard addressing ED or men's middle-age vitality concerns. Wouldn't it be nice if women's desires got equal attention? How does it make sense to address one without the other? Who are these men expected to be intimate with when we live in a society that doesn't value women's sexual health? This does not make sense to me at all, except maybe it explains Leonardo DiCaprio's dating habits.

According to a survey in the United Kingdom by the Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Research and Education, 7 in 10 women say that perimenopause or menopause is why their marriage failed. The study also found that only a third of women were offered treatment for their menopause symptoms.

I love my husband and I'm stubborn, but most of all I know he loves me. We've been through too much together for menopause to be our downfall. That doesn't mean it's not hard. That's why I am super grateful menopause is finally getting talked about publicly. From social media influencers and network television to articles in The New York Times and Time Magazine, women are getting the information we need outside of the doctor's office. Let me clear: I don't blame individual physicians. I blame a medical system that has prioritized men's health and sent MDs out into the world ill-prepared to address their female patients' needs while also disregarding and downplaying women's symptoms.

"The Diary of a CEO" has a male host. Steven Bartlett serves as an example of what a supportive partner looks like. He showed his viewers why men should care about how perimenopause and menopause affect the women in their lives and how partners can be more supportive.

At 50 years old, I'm in the thick of it now, and I'm angry that I have to bring this to my doctors this late in the game. My health care providers should have helped me prepare for this. I'm paying closer attention to my protein and fiber intake now and I'm going to the gym to strength train. I've also asked for a weighted jump rope for Christmas. After a lifetime of cardio workouts and counting calories, I'm now learning to lift heavy things because my bone health and longevity depend on it.

I've shared "The Diary of a CEO" episodes from YouTube with the women in my life and I urge you to watch it, too. I'm hopeful that the attention menopause is getting means that my daughters will not have to navigate it unprepared with the same inadequate medical care I and the women before me have had to face. We deserve the chance to be strong old ladies — in mind, body and marriage.

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Photo credit: Ante Hamersmit at Unsplash