"Not all cops ..."

I see this rebuttal in my social media feed in response to the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police officers.

"Not all white women ..."

This is a rebuttal I see from white women regarding Amy Cooper's behavior. Cooper is the white woman who invoked her privilege when calling 911 to falsely accuse an African American man of threatening her life when he merely asked her to follow park protocol and leash her dog.

"Not all ..."

Stop. It's the wrong response. Juvenile, even. I understand how a person wants to react in defense. I fight it within myself.

"Not me!" I want to shout. "I'm not like that."

I want to differentiate.

I want to be sure I'm not lumped in with behavior so appalling. I want to reassure the community that allies exist. The "good guys" in law enforcement must feel the same way when someone in their mix behaves as horrifically as former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin did.

But, this is not about me. And this isn't about the "good cops" either. We have to take a deep breath, step back and realize that we are not under attack.

The second someone says "not all cops ..." or "not all white women ...," he or she diverts attention from the horrific events we should be collectively trying to address. And through that diversion, more trauma piles onto the African American community by not validating very real and raw experiences, which further isolates and separates us as people.

We have enough division and isolation in our lives right now. We should be pulling one another closer in comfort instead of pouring energy into worrisome differentiation. People are dying from heinous acts within a system meant to protect and serve. These two incidents happening within a week of each other prove that racism not only exists in our society and our law enforcement but also is prevalent enough that a white woman in New York City's Central Park was confident enough to call upon it in her time of humiliation.

If criticism insults you to the point of pride and defense, remind yourself what horrific deed is prompting scrutiny of the community to which you belong, whether that's the police department or the white woman's community of "Karens."

Our scrutiny and hope to be better — as humans and as communities — has to start from within. I don't have all the answers, and I know there is no quick fix. But I do know it can only come from within if we stop rebutting with "not all ..." and start to truly listen.

Bonnie Jean Feldkamp is a wife, mother and award-winning columnist. She is the media director of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. Find her on social media @WriterBonnie, or email her at [email protected]. To find out more about Bonnie Jean Feldkamp and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Thisabled at Pixabay