Q: I've had the misfortune of working for two bosses at different companies who were absolutely horrendous communicators. They would regularly give me quick and often ambiguous assignments and then deny they had told me certain things the next time we met.

I'm a very organized person; I would take detailed notes and ask questions while they gave me the instructions. Despite my having notes on what I was told to do, these bosses would come back after I had already started the work to relate a different account of the original instructions. Both men saw me as the problem (I am a man, too), and any attempt to explain otherwise was met with defensive resistance. It was a no-win situation at each company.

What I did notice was that these two men with communication problems shared other similar types of problems. They were both highly accomplished in the field of architecture, but that success did not make them immune to having weakness in other critical areas. They were both generally disorganized in their everyday lives, from messy desks to messy cars to poor time management skills to an inability to give direction.

Both work situations were painful, but luckily for me, I've found that this type of boss is the exception rather than the norm in professional office environments. With my successive bosses, I have experienced great mutual respect and good communication. Having poor communicators as bosses helped me appreciate all the capable managers I have since met who know how to communicate and to lead.

I resolved my problem by moving on to a new company, but what would you advise for a person who can't get another job but has a boss or co-worker who is a poor communicator?

A: First, it sounds as if those two individual bosses had more wrong with them than communication problems. It's a boss's job to point out the positives, as well as the negatives, in an employee's hard and soft skills, and communication skills are needed for most jobs. How and whether constructive criticism is delivered may determine whether an employee stays at or leaves a company. Working for a boss with poor interpersonal skills will always be a stressful and unfulfilling experience.

Everyone has different communication styles, and most individuals favor a specific mode of communicating, such as verbal or written. When you took notes on your bosses' verbal instructions, you relied on your listening and writing skills. But the step after completing your notes would have been to read them back to the boss for confirmation or further explanation. It sounds as if each of these bosses is a harried individual who relies on his spontaneous verbal ability. It's critical to receive a strong confirmation before starting any work for that type of person. Confirming the work in an email is also a safe approach before starting. Regardless of the person giving the instructions, verbal instructions place an employee in a precarious position because language is open to individual interpretation.

Keep in mind that a person with poor writing skills could also have taken notes — but ones that could be confusing when referred to at a later time. This may be what your two former bosses believed, or they lacked confidence in you for unknown reasons, seeing as they would not accept that they were the cause of the communication problems. Getting a boss to openly admit his or her limitations, even when you are right, is a challenge not easily won.

Generally, a boss who won't allow an employee time to confirm verbal instructions given to him or her, regardless of the depth of the project, shouldn't be managing or supervising anyone. Unfortunately, small-business owners choose the positions they want to control, and companies often choose senior-level technicians to manage junior-level technicians without requiring or testing a person's management or people skills. In either case, having a bad boss requires moving on or tolerating the intolerable.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at [email protected], and follow her on Twitter @I_truly_care. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.