SAN DIEGO — Cornell University obviously doesn't offer students a course on how to make good decisions. Because based on what we know about an alleged gang rape of a young woman in the fall of 2024 by members of a fraternity on the Ivy League campus, it's obvious that all the students involved behaved badly.

This story isn't just disgusting. It's also a total mess to sift through.

The facts are unclear. The alleged victim has said she was surrounded by between five and 10 men. But the civil complaint the woman recently filed, two years after the incident, names seven defendants. Other accounts say the woman may have had sex with five men, and that the other two intervened and put an end to the attack.

The story is only getting messier as time goes on. There are at least two reasons.

First, we're learning more about the facts of the case, and how complicated public reaction can be when it comes to light that the young woman was under the influence of a debilitating drug, consented to sex with two of the men but not all of them, put herself in a dangerous situation where she could be preyed upon and changed her story about the trauma of what happened that night as the picture became clearer in her mind.

Second, a lot of people who weren't there and didn't experience what these young people went through are too free with their unsolicited and uninformed opinions. Who says we all have to have a point of view on everything and share it via social media? What happened to holding your tongue, or waiting until all the facts are in? Men in particular need to watch what they say about how women experience rape trauma.

I'll say this. I believe the young woman was raped because she was incapacitated and unable to consent to everything that happened to her. I also believe the young men involved should be severely punished.

Campus activists are calling for those who are still on campus to be expelled, and for those who have already graduated to have their degrees rescinded. I'm good with both those outcomes.

But I also don't think criminal prosecutions should be taken off the table. New York Attorney General Leticia James, who was named as a special prosecutor in the case by New York Gov. Kathy Hochul, may bring charges.

Up to this point in their lives, these Ivy League kids also don't seem to have been taught much about accountability. It's time for them to learn.

My peer group is all over the map. My friends who have only girls are terrified that one of their daughters could be sexually assaulted and then blamed for the attack. Meanwhile, my friends who have only boys are terrified that one of their sons could be wrongly accused of rape after a sexual encounter that they believed to be consensual.

Meanwhile, on the Cornell campus, the lack of clarity has brought chaos. The Ivy League campus is in upheaval.

On Oct. 5, the main administration building was vandalized by activists who are furious at how the university handled the case smashed a glass door and spray-painted graffiti. One message read: "Smash the patriarchy!"

Meanwhile, both the young woman — AKA "Jane Doe" — and some of the young men involved claim they are being harassed and threatened by people who are having trouble minding their own business.

With all that noise, look who just woke up. Cornell President Michael I. Kotlikoff recorded an eight-minute video statement in which he described the scandal as a "defining moment in Cornell's history." He said the university — which had received complaints about this particular fraternity in the past — must "get this right." Still, Kotlikoff — whose annual salary is in the neighborhood of $1.7 million — was criticized by activists for a response that struck many as too little, too late.

Buried in all this ugliness, there is a teaching moment. I have two daughters and a son. All of them are college-aged. I don't want any of them to ever be anywhere near a situation like this. I expect them to show restraint, make better choices, not put themselves at risk and take responsibility for their actions.

But, as we process this story, the rest of us also have a responsibility — to do the right thing. That includes being careful as we express our opinions, treading lightly and being sensitive to the pain and trauma of others.

To find out more about Ruben Navarrette and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Will Barkoff at Unsplash