DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's 18 and I attend a junior college. I live at home with my parents and my younger twin sisters, who are 15.

A really good friend of mine and I started a small business idea almost six months ago and it's going along very well so far. There are times I'm really anxious to roll up my sleeves and get to work with her to advance our project.

But there are also times that my friend will contact me and ask me if I have time to work on the project, but I tell her I'm busy, even though I just really want to stay at home, perhaps on a Saturday afternoon and just watch a few movies with my sisters and my mom. The problem I'm starting to develop is that I feel guilty that I'm not out working with my friend to keep pushing our idea further forward, faster and faster.

It's like I'm playing hooky from a job or something like that. I still end up chilling out at home with my family, but I do have guilty feelings whenever this occurs. Does the fact that I'm feeling guilty mean I'm doing the wrong thing by not working when my friend is ready to do so? — Sometimes I Just Want to Chill Out, via email

SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO CHILL OUT: You're learning at a very young and tender age that there needs to be a balance between work, family, life and recreation. It's indeed admirable, especially to me, that you and your friend are developing a home-based business and working on it together diligently to further your mutual opportunities.

But you also need time for yourself, and for your family as well. Never feel slighted or tentative to take time to enjoy your family and to simply relax and recharge your internal "human batteries."

And whenever you do need to explain to your friend that you're not available at one particular time, a good strategy would be to make one or two alternate suggestions as to your next meeting date, place and time. This conveys your forward interest in the project and provides her with some alternatives that she can select from. Working hard and resting well are two opposites that, when they can become mastered together, create an excellent life balance for each individual.

MY MOM'S CRAFTY COMMENTS STICK IN MY MIND

DR. WALLACE: I am 17 and a girl who lives with her single mother and a 14-year-old brother. My brother is too young to be able to go out and do a lot of things at night, especially on the weekends, without supervision, but my mother will let me, within reason, spend social time on my own for several hours every weekend, which is pretty good.

What's interesting is that my mother doesn't specifically lecture me, warn me or tell me what not to do. Instead, she'll give me these cryptic one-liners of advice, or some sort of philosophical comment.

Last night, when I was heading out to spend an evening with my friends, just before I left the family home, she said, "Have the courage to be yourself, don't let anyone push you or influence you otherwise." That's it! That was the total of her comment and our conversation before I took off. I was so surprised by what she said, I just looked at her for several seconds, blinked my eyes a few times and then I muttered, "Thanks, Mom," and I left.

In a way, I like all of the freedom she gives me, but I have to admit that her comments drift through my mind every time I'm out on my own. And in some way, they keep me much more grounded than I likely would otherwise be when I'm out on my own. Do you agree with her style of parenting? Do you feel the way she handles things is the best possible way? — My Mom is One of a Kind, via email

MY MOM IS ONE OF A KIND: I think it's much easier for me at a distance to see an egregious error in parenting rather than approving of a particular style as a "one size fits all" type of situation. Every parent, teenager and family dynamic is different, which is why parenting is more of an art than a science in my estimation.

In your case, I give you and your mother kudos for being able to make it work for the two of you, which is a great thing. But her exact style may not fit other families with different dynamics and personalities.

I myself was raised by a father who regularly delivered a very succinct two-word admonition whenever I was headed out of the family home as a brash, eager teenager interested in spending an evening with my friends. He would simply say, "Behave yourself." Those two words stuck heavily in my mind back then and also well beyond his lifetime. I can still hear those words in my mind today in the exact tone he delivered them.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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