Dear John, My husband and I have been together for 17 years, although we've been married for only four. I have two children from a previous marriage, ages 22 and 23. I also have a 2-year-old grandson from my daughter's biracial relationship. My husband is a very prejudiced man. I was also raised with racial prejudices. In fact, I had a problem with my daughter's relationship until my grandson was born. Still, my husband gives me a hard time about her choice.

Now we've separated because of the animosity this has caused. I will always be there for my children regardless of this or any other issue. This bothers the man I married. I can't live with the fact that every day he has something negative to say about it. —Seeking Equality in Gainesville, Fla.

Dear Seeking, The birth of this child has liberated you from many of your own prejudices. It may take your husband longer to feel the way that you do about your grandson. In fact, he may never feel the same way. However, to move beyond this emotional issue, make it clear to your husband that he has a right to his perspective. Then, ask him to honor your wish that you not hear these comments anymore. If he persists, simply ignore him and walk out of the room. By letting go of any reaction, you reduce the tension between the two of you. Your grandchild is blessed to have two loving parents and a devoted grandmother. Your open heart is the example your grandson (and husband) needs to stay on the right course for a wonderful life.

Dear John, I'm in love with my best friend, a guy. I never really expected that I would fall in love with him! I even tried to set aside my feelings by setting him up with other women. Well, things are different now because he is now in love with another girl. I know the girl, and she is really nice, unlike some of the women he dated previously. I can see that things between them seem serious. What can I do before it's too late? —Feeling Desperate in Denver, Colo.

Dear Desperate, You may have missed the boat on divulging your secret. If you tell him now, you will certainly change the whole dynamic of the relationship: He will see you differently, which means he won't confide in you as a friend since he now knows he may hurt your feelings. My advice: Wait and see where this new love leads. If it turns out to be a dead end, then tell him how you feel — and he may surprise you with similar feelings of his own.

2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.