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Women and Guns

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18 Nov 2009
Real News, Fake Background

Note: The following column was first published in September 1985. We have lied to you. We have deceived you. … Read More.

Iowans Do Not Give Their Hearts Easily

DAVENPORT, Iowa -- It was cold and dark when Pat Baxter-Rebal got up to dress for Hillary Clinton's 8:30 a.m. town hall meeting on Sunday.

Sunday morning in Iowa usually means church, but life is a series of choices, and Baxter-Rebal chose Hillary over heaven.

Pat put on her bright red blazer, the better to be recognized when question-and-answer time came.

On her right lapel she put a big Hillary Clinton button, and on the left she put her special button with Dick Cheney holding a ventriloquist's dummy with the head of George W. Bush on it.

"I am a Democratic activist," Pat said.

Yep, we got that.

"I have a cat, a lilac point Siamese, and she walked into my life in 1992, and she reminded me of Hillary Clinton," Pat said. "She has big, round blue eyes, and she acts like a first lady."

So Pat named her cat Hillary, and when she heard that Hillary, the presidential candidate, was coming to town, she got a friend to help her and they managed to get Hillary (the cat) to make a paw print on a picture of Hillary (the cat) to give Hillary (the candidate).

Pat drove over to the Scott County fairgrounds in sub-zero weather on Sunday, where in a heated pavilion Hillary (the candidate) was holding a standing-room-only town meeting with about 300 people.

When Hillary finished her talk, she called on Pat for a question, the red blazer having really done its trick.

And with 12 TV cameras grinding and an international press corps taking notes, Pat told everybody about Hillary (the cat), and the paw print and all the rest.

But Pat did not leave it there.

She also said: "I have never heard a national candidate with such a fine-tuned knowledge of children. Thank you for your service to children."

Hillary (the candidate) beamed.

Pat was a social worker for 24 years, working with abused children, and she told me: "I knew the name Hillary Clinton long before I knew who Bill Clinton was. Hillary has a real name in that field."

You might think, perhaps, that Pat Baxter-Rebal might actually be planning to vote for Hillary Clinton, but you would be wrong.

This is Iowa, and people do not give their hearts or votes away easily. Not even to candidates they respect and admire.

"I am also considering Barack Obama -- he was here last fall -- and Tom Vilsack," Pat said.

What about John Edwards, who has been to Iowa 17 times since 2004?

"I like him a lot," Pat said. "But I have a sense that he is a lightweight. He doesn't have the ballast. It's hard to get past his charm, but his charm doesn't count for much with me."

She considers Barack Obama more experienced than Edwards, even though Barack Obama is in his first term as a U.S. senator and Edwards served a full term, because Obama served eight years in the Illinois senate.

"That counts for a lot here," Pat said.

But why not just go with Hillary?

"I am not satisfied with her explanation about the Iraq war," Pat said. But come on. After the cat, the blue eyes, the paw print, the red blazer, the knowledge of children, the 12 TV cameras and international press corps taking down every word, after all this, you are really not going to commit to Hillary?

"Well, she is one of my top three," Pat said.

COPYRIGHT 2007 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.


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