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Marc Dion
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27 Oct 2014
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White Slavery and Voter Fraud

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Back in the early part of the last century, millions of Americans believed there was something called "white slavery."

Without the aid of either Facebook or Bill O'Reilly, the rumor spread that a vast organization, headed by Chinese men, was kidnapping innocent, dewy-faced white American girls and selling them into houses of prostitution run by other Chinese men.

It was a good story, a spine-tingler capable of raising righteous indignation in even the most flaccid of white men.

And, of course, it was all, as we say at the end of the bar, bullshit. There was no Chinese-led national white girl kidnapping syndicate. Women then, as now, got into prostitution in a variety of ways, many of them having to do with what well-trained journalists of this generation gingerly call "substance abuse."

Politicians, anxious to have something with which to beat Chinese-Americans jumped on the story like a duck on a June bug. Bad speeches were made. Bad laws were passed. The nation was saved from a non-existent threat. Best of all, the story meant that no decent American girl chose whoring as a profession, so, even if there was a brothel on your block, staffed by girls as white as angel food cake, it was not their fault.

Which is why states are in a big Jim Crow hurry to pass voter identification laws.

Like the white slavery narrative, the idea that massive voter fraud is occurring all over the country feeds perfectly into the limp victimhood of white people who can't accept the fact that America has more liberals, black people and Hispanics than their local megachurch.

It's just good common sense is all it is: If none of the other soccer parents voted for Obama, then no one voted for Obama.

You can see that right on Facebook, between a picture of niece Meghan's kitten and a recipe for a "really delish" blackberry smoothie with kale.

Bad speeches. Bad laws. Politicians, stuffed like turkeys with money from rich old white guys, jumped on this like a hog on a pile of garbage. The nation will be saved from this non-existent threat. Best of all, the story means that no white American chose just-a-little-darker-than-weak-tea Obama as the president. It was voter fraud, so no one is to blame for any liberal or black or Hispanic who got into office.

It took decades to get some of the more ridiculous white slavery laws off the books and it took decades for the American people to believe that Chinamen in dragon-embroidered silk robes weren't carrying off apple-cheeked farm girl Nellie Mae and selling her into brothel bondage. In fact, Nellie Mae's biggest secret may have been that she preferred being a buck-a-throw hooker to being a buck-a-day factory girl. One killed you about as quickly as the other but the rich folks preferred you to die in a cotton mill or a garment factory.

Around the turn of the last century, baseball really was the national pastime. Around the turn of this century, voter identification laws mean Jim Crow is rounding second and headed for home.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com

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